Then Came Henry

24 Weeks & 27 Weeks

2011-08-16T23:02:00.000-05:00

I never got around to a 24 week update, so this post covers two appointments. I am at the end of my second trimester, with three more months to go. That sounds like so long and also not very much time at all.

I actually lost a pound between weeks 24 and 27 because I had a horrible stomach bug a couple of weeks ago that prevented me from eating anything but ginger ale and saltines for about 4 days. Thanks, Henry, you germy little bug. I lost at least five pounds and it's been very slow to come back on. My total weight gain for the pregnancy so far is now 14 pounds, which is great. My goal is to gain 26 pounds or less this time, so I should be good. The midwife was not at all concerned about my weight loss, and in fact told me that the baby would be just fine if I didn't gain another ounce. My fundal height is also more in line with the 1 cm per week guidelines (if you recall I was 3 cm ahead at one point), and Girl Baby is still rocking and rolling in there.

I had my one hour glucose test yesterday, which screens for Gestational Diabetes. It's not pleasant to drink the sugar stuff first thing in the morning, but the fruit punch flavor wasn't bad. I felt vaguely unwell the rest of the day, either starving or a bit nauseous. They called to say that I barely passed with a 121, which is funny because I passed with a 136 when I was pregnant with Henry. Different practitioners have a different cutoff, usually 130 or 140. The birth center sends you for the three hour test at 125, but they are much more cautious there since GD can be a reason to risk you out and send you packing.

Slowly but surely I am eliminating reasons I could be risked out of having this baby at the birth center. No gestational diabetes, placenta is nice and high, everything looked perfect on the ultrasound, and baby has been head down since 17 weeks and we're hoping she stays that way. My blood pressure has been great, so low that the midwife said she'd be really surprised if it ever gets high enough to be worrisome. I am borderline anemic, but I am hoping some Floradix will take care of that. (Floradix is a liquid iron supplement you can buy at Whole Foods. I took it when I turned up anemic after Henry's birth. Since it's liquid and plant based it is more easily absorbed than traditional supplements and it doesn't cause constipation. Very important when your downstairs is in delicate shape following childbirth. I highly recommend it, despite the nasty taste.) I know lots of things can still happen in the last trimester, but I am hoping everything continues on postively.

This post has been very boring and medical. After the excitement of the ultrasound, appointments just aren't as fun these days. My 24 week appointment was hard because I had to bring Henry with me. I usually go when he's in school but they were booked up and Husband couldn't come as he usually does. Henry was great in the waiting room but his patience ran out by the time they called us back. He was horrible in the kind of way that's terribly embarrassing even though the midwife has kids of her own. I did get to fill out the super secret questionnaire they've never given me before since Husband has been at every other appointment. It asks about education, employment, living arrangements, and several questions about history of abuse. Thankfully I could say no to all of them. One asked if my partner had been verbally abusive to me during this pregnancy. Good thing it wasn't the other way around or I would have said yes! But I doubt that they would find jokes about the domestic violence risk assessment to be very funny so I kept that one to myself.

At the 27 week appointment yesterday I finally asked something that keeps creeping into my head. What happens if the baby comes so fast that we don't make it to the birth center? Obviously if you are planning to go to the hospital anyway you can call an ambulance. But then you spend the first moments after the birth riding in an ambulance with strangers, getting wheeled through the ER, and then you are admitted and stuck there for a day or two. Of course I am happy to be at the hospital if the need arises but it's really not part of the plan this time around. If it the baby comes in the car we are supposed to keep driving. Can't really imagine Husband continuing to drive down 183 while I push a baby out, but whatever. If it happens at home they will send a midwife to check on us, although obviously we will go ahead and call that ambulance if something doesn't seem right. My labor with Henry took 20 hours, so I'm fairly sure none of this will happen. Right?

Potty Training: Not Yet

2011-07-16T21:57:00.000-05:00

I was hoping to write a post outlining all of our wonderful successes with potty training. Not so much. I thought Henry was ready, but I just don't think he is. He was very excited about going to the potty, but now I realize that there's much more to being ready than thinking flushing is fun. Here's how the past three days have gone...

Day 1
We stayed home and Henry was completely naked on the bottom. He was very excited about going to the potty and especially about getting that M&M after. As a result we went to the potty about 50 times, no joke. He peed about 20 times but only pooped in his diaper, which he wore at nap and bedtime. He didn't have a single accident. I finished the day exhausted but encouraged.

Ain't he cute in his Percy undies?

Day 2
After the great success the previous day, I decided to bust out the big boy undies. He had two accidents first off, and then none the rest of the day. I had to set the timer to remind him to go every 30 minutes, and occasionally he would ask to go on his own.

Day 3
Again in big boy undies at home. Started off the morning fine, and even rode with Daddy to pick up some bagels for breakfast without incident. I went to take a nap around 10:30 and that's when all hell broke loose. He had a couple of accidents before nap, and then after nap I went to get him and he protested sitting on the potty. He still wanted to wear the big boy undies but didn't want to pee on the potty. Later on we were on the potty happily singing an endless round of Old MacDonald and he suddenly just freaked out and hugged me while he cried, still sitting on the potty. This afternoon he had some success (stayed dry during a short walk) and two more accidents. I am feeling increasingly demoralized and Henry seems stressed. Though I have not ever lost my cool with him about accidents, I have been increasingly short with him in general.

So we've had 0 accidents on day one, 2 accidents on day two, and 4 accidents on day three. Most of those accidents happened just after going potty. I realize looking back that he was successful on the first day because he went to the potty so many times that he never needed to hold it. Based on his diapers I know that he can hold it longer than he is, but for whatever reason that's just not happening. He is peeing only a dribble at a time, so I suspect he might not be patient enough to let it all out, or to wait till he really has to go.

After much discussion, we have decided to table the potty training for now. It was a hard decision because I don't want to give up if we're close to a breakthrough. Then I think that if he was really, truly ready he wouldn't just be successful for me and not Daddy, or when naked, or when I remind him every 30 minutes. We could keep going and maybe find success in a few weeks, but at what cost? Hanging around the house so much is driving us crazy. There's a dark cloud over all three of us, and I just don't think it's worth it. The process will be a lot easier on everyone if we wait until he is truly ready, both physically and emotionally. At 2 years and 5 months he's still on the young side. And changing diapers is SO MUCH EASIER than potty training, especially when your kid won't poop in the potty, so I don't see a huge downside to waiting.

Hopefully we'll have good news to report in a couple of months, when it can be his idea and his accomplishment, not ours.

Girl Baby's Bird Nursery

2011-07-15T19:49:00.024-05:00

Secretly, one of the reasons that I really wanted Girl Baby (as Henry calls her) to be a girl is that I had a vision for a girl nursery. Such a superficial thing, but I'm a planner, what can I say? The room that will be her nursery is currently painted something similar to this color. Maybe a teensy bit lighter or brighter.
Although is it blue I had the hardest time finding any bedding I liked for the nursery if we had another boy. But I could just see it set up for a girl: white furniture, pink curtains, etc. Maybe it's cause boy stuff in general is just not as fun. I feel bad because I put very little effort into Henry's nursery but I am so psyched to decorate the room for Girl Baby. Since I am a muggle and Husband is watching Harry Potter part 173 tonight, in anticipation to go see part 174 later, I thought I would take the time to post some ideas for the nursery that I have been collecting.

Furniture
I think white would look so pretty in that room. So far I am liking this Graco crib (which converts to a toddler bed, a must for me) and a girly looking armoire from Ikea. I am kind of cheap when it comes to nursery furniture because it's only used so briefly. If we were in our forever house I might be more inclined to invest in a nicer armoire but I have no idea if we will have a place for it when we move in a couple of years. I'm doing the armoire so I will have somewhere to hang all the pretty dresses, and the closet is out since we have nowhere else to put all the Christmas decorations, winter coats, my wedding dress, etc. that are currently stored in there. No dresser or changing table cause the room has a window seat that's just the right height for changing a diaper. I should post a picture, but I'd have to walk all the way to the other room and then download it onto my computer and I am just that lazy.

In my opinion, the one piece of nursery furniture that's worth the investment is a good glider. I'm reusing this one from Henry's room. Also, I think my dad is going to build a display bookshelf with some storage baskets at the bottom.

Fabric
I found an awesome place called Carousel Designs (website is babybedding.com) that has tons of great bedding and accessories - both modern and cutesy. You can just order the items as they appear or you can create custom bedding using any of their fabrics. They have the neatest design tool that allows you to visualize what you create, including choosing the room color, crib color, flooring, etc. Check out the Love Birds collection. They sent me some fabric swatches and it looks awesome in the nursery. Their prices are not cheap but not absurd, especially since you can pick and choose which items to order. For example, this time around I am not bothering with a crib bumper that is really only decorative and apparently unsafe for the wee one.

This is the love birds fabric, though I am conscious not to overuse it. I don't want her to feel like she's in a Hitchcock movie. I think this will be an accent pillow for the glider, an extra sheet, and maybe the changing pad.

This is the coordinating damask fabric. It will be the crib skirt.

This is called pink circles. I might use it for the trim on the crib skirt and the sheet. Not sure yet. I'm thinking pink circles for the curtains, maybe? I haven't decided yet if I will just buy this fabric and ask my mom to hem it into curtains or buy the premade curtains that look like this.

That's pink circles with damask at the bottom and blue ties. Are they too busy? Or is it good to repeat the damask elsewhere in the room? Maybe the curtains should just be the damask fabric instead. Oy.

Accessories
I have found an overwhelming number of wall decals in the tree/branch/vine family that would look cute by/over the crib. I'm hopeful that they will work on our textured walls. Whatever we choose will be white, maybe with some pink birds or flowers. Here's one of my favorites:

I would like to find a few bird cages to hang from the ceiling. My mom already has a neat one she'd like to give Girl Baby, so I've just got to keep my eye out for a couple more. It should look something like the cages in this sweet nursery, which I found on this blog.

Maybe I'll get this vintage lamp from Etsy, minus the extraneous twigs. I just can't get excited about a standard lamp.

I have found tons of cute birdhouses online but I wonder if both birdhouses and bird cages are a bit much. I also like the idea of Chinese lanterns hanging... somewhere... but good golly that's lots of decorative crap in a small room and all for one tiny person. I keep reassuring Husband that (a) most of these things are rather cheap, and (b) I will edit all my ideas down so you don't walk in the room and think BIRDS! look at all the BIRDS! I promise there will be no creepy stuffed birds in the birdcages, though Etsy would clearly like to sell me some.

Wow, that's a lot longer than I anticipated. I can't wait to get started but we are probably going to wait until January or so to move her into the room, and once we set up the nursery we will lose our guest bed so that's a reason to wait till after the holidays to put it all together. What do you think? What would you do for the curtains? Should I go ahead and grab that lamp? Decisions, decisions.

20 Weeks

2011-06-30T21:04:00.010-05:00

I wrote this last week but just now got around to dropping the ultrasound pics in so I could post it.

Today we had our 20 week appointment at the birth center. It was with a midwife I'd met before and like. She's very German (I don't know how else to say it) but was also kind and understanding at my first appointment when I was still very nervous after our previous loss. Baby's heartbeat was ~150 and I am measuring 23 cm at 20 weeks, which is big but not enough to be of concern. I find that this baby is growing in spurts more than Henry did. It's almost worrisome that I am not growing at all and then BAM! my belly grows noticeably overnight. That happened last week so I'm guessing that explains the big measurement.

During the appointment I mostly just wanted the midwife to shut up and move it along so we could get to our ultrasound. With Henry I didn't even want to find out until Husband talked me into it, but this time I have been dying to know if it was a boy or a girl since the beginning. I just want it to be healthy, I'll be happy for Henry to have a brother, I love being the mom of a boy, yadda, yadda, yadda, but we both were hoping for a girl, to be honest.

Of course that's not the point of the ultrasound, so you have to play it cool at first. It was both interesting and emotional to see all the little parts as the tech measured them. I really liked the guy who did the ultrasound. It felt more thorough than Henry's, but maybe that's just because he explained each step to us very clearly. Everything he examined and measured looked perfect - brain, heart, stomach, diaphragm, femur, tiny little feet, placenta position. He also said the weight of the baby and the volume of the amniotic fluid were both spot on for 20 weeks, so my fundal measurement is probably just cause I'm fat (my interpretation, not his). It was crazy because I didn't feel any movement at all as the baby rolled around, and at one point seemed to pet the inside of my uterus. It makes me wonder what kind of acrobatics are going on when I do feel it.

Face and belly in profile.

Tiny feet.

So of course we were thrilled that baby is healthy, and quite photogenic, but WHAT IS IT? The tech zoomed in between the legs and said, "What do you think?" Husband and I were both afraid to answer. There wasn't an obvious penis, but I couldn't tell what was what in Henry's ultrasound either so I was afraid to say girl. Husband didn't want to insult his manhood if there was indeed manhood there. With us unwilling to go out on a limb for fear of emotionally scarring our fetus, the tech jumped in and said girl. He even typed it on the screen, so it must be true. Apparently those two little lines are labia. I asked him a total of three times during the ultrasound, and his answer didn't change. Aren't her tiny little labia soooooo cute?

This is taken from below, back/butt on the left, one leg on the upper right,
other leg out of view, probably kicking my bladder.

So we are thrilled, both to have a peek at the wee one, and to know that we can start calling it a she instead. It's exactly what we've always wanted, but it almost feels too perfect. I know it's the experience of miscarriage talking, but it's hard not to keep saying "if we have a girl someday." Pregnancy is just different after a loss, both in good ways and bad.

We showed Henry the ultrasound pictures and told him it was a girl baby. He cared very little about this information. Tonight at bedtime I told him again that the baby in mama's belly is a girl baby and he said, "boy baby, no girl baby," very seriously. Well, sorry kid.

All Done Pim Yessons

2011-06-30T20:13:00.016-05:00

Henry just finished the Turtle class at our local city pool. Parent and tot swim lessons with a two year-old are a bit of a death march. It felt like they would never end. Other mommies can attest that just getting a toddler dressed, sunscreened, and to the pool on time is a challenge. We had classes four days a week for two weeks at 5:00. At first I was worried that it would be too hot but Henry was shivering by the end of the first class, so I actually would recommend afternoon classes over the morning ones.

On day one Henry blew bubbles like a champ. He liked to kick but refused to do "ice cream scoops" with his hands. These are the three basic things the turtles learn, so two out of three isn't bad. On day one I learned that it's best to be the first mommy in the pool and the last mommy out because otherwise the rest of the class gets to watch your mom butt climb up and down the ladder.

On days two and three Henry pretty much refused to blow bubbles or scoop his hands, and directed most of his kicks at my pregnant belly. Every time the teacher came around he gave her the evilest of eyes and refused to do anything at all, except scream "all done pim yessons!" while climbing up my shoulders. He did really enjoy jumping in the pool, which was super fun the first two times. Then it got exhausting since I had to lift him to the pool deck and catch him as I pulled him toward the water since he didn't jump out very far. He came pretty close to hitting his head on the concrete more than once, and almost never waited until I was ready before he jumped. The evening of day three I had cramps for about three hours, so we didn't even make it on day four.

Thankfully Husband was off work this week so he took over swim duty. I don't really know what happened this week, except I stopped by on Monday to take some pictures.

See what I mean about pulling him in the pool?

Apparently if you blow in his face first he won't die when dunked underwater.

All is forgiven because the swim teachers very smartly start singing "Swishy Fish" as soon as the kids are back above water. I'm going to start tempering all bad news with fun songs. "Henry, Mommy and Daddy are getting divorced... Row, row, row your boat!"

Thursday was the last day of swim lessons. Our class spent the whole day playing on and around the slide. I was amazed at how independent and confident Henry was in the water. He wore his Puddle Jumper (which is awesome, by the way) and kicked and paddled all around. He is no longer freaked out when the water is too deep for his feet to touch the bottom. We only had to help him once or twice when he got some water in his mouth. He seems to really hate that, so I figure at some point he'll learn to keep his mouth closed in the pool. Even so, it is so much easier to take him to the pool now. I'm still shocked, since it seemed like he did almost nothing of value during the actual lessons (not that the lessons themselves weren't valuable). After the first week I warned a couple of friends that swim lessons weren't really worth it at this age, but I need to revise that opinion. They are worth it in the way that childbirth is worth it. Just don't expect the process to be fun. I can't wait till next year when I sit and read a book while some poor girl gets to take Henry and the other three year-olds in the pool.

He was way more excited about the goldfish and apple juice they gave him than the certificate.

16 Weeks

2011-06-02T21:05:00.004-05:00

We had another appointment at the birth center yesterday and all is well. Little baby's heart is beating away and my uterus is measuring spot on. My uterus is a star student. It always measured to the centimeter with Henry, too.

I also met a new midwife and talked to her about my diet. The birth center requires patients to record everything they eat for a week so they can review it. So different from my last pregnancy with an OB. The nurse there gave me a pamphlet about eating healthy at the beginning and then no one seemed to care that I gained 48 pounds by the end. At one point the nurse said, "Don't worry, it's all baby." And I said, "Thanks, but I'm pretty sure this baby isn't going to weigh 40 pounds." I was counting on losing the weight by breastfeeding, but based on an informal survey of moms I know, that only works for about half of women. I am not in the favorable half. So here I am pregnant again and starting a good bit heavier than I did with Henry. I am hoping to gain about half as much weight this time, and definitely to weigh no more at the end than I did with Henry. The midwife had positive things to say about my diet chart except that I should ditch my morning OJ, which I will probably ignore unless I fail my glucose test since it's such an easy way to get vitamin C (strengthens your amniotic sac to prevent premature rupture) and extra calcium.

I'm not sure I've talked about the birth center before. Husband and I have had a lot of discussion about where to have this baby (this actually started with the last pregnancy). I liked my OB practice well enough but as time has passed I am finding myself less than excited to go back. The office is so much busier, and while I love all the midwives and one of the OBs, I kind of hate the other one and most of the office staff. But mainly I am just not sure I want to birth at the hospital. I appreciate what OBs and hospitals do when circumstances require their expertise and technology, but it's honestly overkill for most normal births. For a variety of reasons I personally have no interest in a medicalized birth, including an epidural. That means I am automatically swimming upstream when I show up at the hospital. I was not quite comfortable with an out-of-hospital birth the first time, but now I am much more so.

We thought about home birth, and even found a very experienced midwife. But we just couldn't pull the trigger for a couple of reasons. One, it's about 20 minutes from our house to a major hospital in the case of transfer (the closest hospitals don't have 24/7 anesthesiology so they wouldn't work for an emergency cesarean). That's just too far for my personal comfort level, though people do home birth in the sticks all the time. Also my parents kind of freaked at the mention of a home birth and I'm sure Husband's parents would as well. I am really intrigued by the idea of a home birth but I'm not attached enough to deal with family drama for the duration of the pregnancy.

So we settled on the birth center. It is staffed by midwives, though a supervising OB reviews patient records and can consult in the case of a complication during pregnancy. It's within 5 minutes of the major hospital, which is close enough for me in the very unlikely event that we need to transfer. The rooms are so much nicer than a hospital, homey with a big deep jacuzzi tub. They are experts in normal birth, but have all the medical doo-dads necessary in case of emergency. They never take the baby away and we get to go home after 6-8 hours of observation. Their stats are amazing, and there is a very low likelihood that (as happened at my first birth) Gidget the 23 year old nurse who has never pushed anything out of her vagina will tell me, "You can either push or stay pregnant forever."* The downside is that I still have to ride in the car in labor and that I will get whoever is on call instead of my personal midwife like I would if I had a home birth. In some minds it's the worst of both worlds but I think it's the right choice for us.

I am feeling better overall, but I have never been so tired in my life. My pediatrician and my mom both agree that being pregnant with the second is more tiring than actually having another baby. I sure hope that's true. Between peeing 2-3 times a night, Husband snoring, and Henry waking up early I feel a bit like a Gitmo detainee being tortured. Also, I threw up yesterday for the first time in either pregnancy. WTF? I'm 16 weeks pregnant and I'm not even nauseous anymore. It was somewhere between a dry heave and actually vomiting, but not the way I wanted to start my morning. Apparently bending over to spit after I brush my teeth triggers a gag reflex now, so I have to stand tall and spit delicately from a great height. This bothers me more than other, more difficult aspects of pregnancy because seriously, WTF? Is brushing my teeth without barfing now considered a luxury?

Otherwise we are humming right along with the pregnancy. I think I am starting to feel the baby move a little bit here and there, which is very exciting. At the end of the month we have our 20 week appointment and ultrasound so we get to find out if it's a boy or a girl, and then we get to start fighting about names. Henry kinda sorta seems to understand that there is a baby in there. Mostly this is because I say, "No hurt the baby!" when he climbs on me. He pretty consistently says he wants a girl baby or "dister" but I'm not sure he knows what that means. He likes to put the balloons we get at HEB under his shirt, and yesterday I told him the umbilical cord was sticking out (the string) so he repeated "uhical code" for about an hour afterward. I am looking very forward to him holding and kissing the baby when he meets it, and then to hearing him say "bye bye baby" for many months thereafter.

*Yes, that really happened, no her name was not Gidget but that's what I call her, and for the record I pushed that baby out in 30 minutes without following any of her ridiculous instructions.

News!

2011-03-10T21:23:00.007-06:00

So I have been blogging, just not posting. Here's the last 7 weeks in one long and rambling post.

March 10
Yesterday I took another pregnancy test (after several negative tests over the past week). It was a digital and it took forever to come up positive. I must be barely pregnant because in my experience a digital will say "pregnant" pretty quickly if it's positive. I carried it around the house for a few minutes, checking it as I could between Henry needing my attention, until it finally said pregnant. Then I ran into the bathroom where Husband was about to get in the shower. I'm sure he's glad that he was naked when he found out about this baby, and also that I told you all that. I hugged him and tried to feel happy but I was completely numb. I thought it would be more emotional to get pregnant again, but the joy and fear seemed to cancel each other out.

I took another test this morning that also said pregnant, much faster than yesterday's. It feels more real today. I am trying very hard not to obsess about it, and doing well so far. At first I was worried because in my other pregnancies I tested positive very early, but this time not until after my period was due. And then the test took so long I had prepared myself for a negative. But I know from experience how fragile pregnancy is, even if everything goes perfectly at the beginning. I sure do miss the innocence of Henry's pregnancy.

March 14
Meat! I could eat an entire cow, and then wash it down with a milkshake. Meat and dairy are typical pregnancy cravings for me so I guess this is a good sign. I fear this baby will be born with a smoke ring because all I can think about is eating a pile of brisket.

March 21
I'm about 6 weeks now and am expecting the morning sickness to hit any time now. Feeling pregnant, even in the form of barfiness, will be reassuring. So far the cravings are my only significant pregnancy symptom. It's 9:30 a.m., I just worked out, and I could seriously eat an entire pizza right now.

March 22
I finally had a couple of spells of real morning sickness today. Also, Husband annoyance level is Defcon 5. I'm really thankful for the morning sickness because it's a sign that things are progressing well. Does that mean that I should also be celebrating that Husband is annoying the bejesus out of me?

March 23
I am SO tired of having to pee ALL the time. Couldn't make it through a one hour nap today. I think I'm having a litter.

March 30
I'm 7 weeks along now and still nauseous, which is a positive sign. I am feeling a little masochistic though. Every morning I want to wake up and feel energetic and not barfy, but if I have a good day then I start to doubt all of the optimistic feelings I have about this baby. We have an ultrasound one week from today and I so want to see a little heartbeat this time.

April 4
First appointment/ultrasound is in two days. Last time around I was fully expecting bad news with the awareness that everything might be fine. Now that's flipped and I am feeling much more optimistic. It helps that I feel very blarfy.

April 5
Today for lunch I put a colander of grapes in front of Henry. I'd feel bad except he loves pulling grapes off the stem. "I dit tit!" he exclaims every time. There was other food, too, but the point is that growing a baby AND putting grapes on a plate is just too much for me right now.

I think I am dying of pregnant. This baby is eating my brain. I have now been pregnant for approximately forever, and this baby is 20% complete as of today. I don't wish for the morning sickness to go away, but I would sell my soul to fast forward about a month. I am really testing my resolve to never complain about morning sickness again.

April 7
Yesterday we had our first appointment and ultrasound. There is a little blob in there and it's upper middle is fluttering! That means it's little heart is beating, though it was hard to count the rate. It measured 8 weeks and 1 day three different times, which is exactly how far along I think I am. So good news all around, though I am having a hard time processing all of it. We are now past the point of the last miscarriage and we had a reassuring ultrasound, I'm starting to feel my uterus pop, and food aversions and blarfiness are stronger than ever. I'm starting to wonder when I will be able to get excited about this baby. Well, I am excited by the prospect of having a baby in November. Maybe confident is a better word than excited. Basically, my uterus got dumped hard and then a couple of months later jumped right into a new relationship, and those are always iffy. That's how I explained it to Husband.

So when will I feel confident? I'm really looking forward to our next appointment at 12 weeks, when we should be able to hear the heartbeat on doppler as opposed to just seeing a flutter if you squint hard enough. And then in late June we get to have a 20 week ultrasound and find out what this little bugger is. If it's a girl I get to start buying stuff. Pink stuff! I guess that's when I will really get excited.

April 16
Chugging right along, feeling miserable. I think the nausea is waning but the constant hunger combined with aversion to almost any food is tiring. I know I would feel so much better if I are a normal meal (grilled chicken, veggies, roasted potatoes) but I just can't. I'm almost 10 weeks and it's bound to get better soon, right?

Also, when someone tells you they are 9 weeks pregnant it is not okay to say, "You looked like to might be pregnant." Nope, this baby is the size of a grape. I'm just still fat from the last one.

April 19
I just knew this would happen. Fifth's disease is going around Henry's preschool. Ugh. It's usually not a big deal, except that it can cause miscarriage in pregnant women. It presents as a runny nose until a rash develops a week or two later and then it becomes obvious that it's Fifth's. Of course by then all the little kids have blown snot bubbles all over each other, so it tends to go around for weeks.

I can't keep Henry home from school for the next seven months. Even if I did he could easily pick it up from the library, a friend, etc. I think it's just part of pregnancy with a toddler. The good news is that 50% of all adults are already immune, but if I did get it the miscarriage rate among pregnant women infected before 20 weeks is 10%.

The only thing I can really do is get an expensive blood test that will tell me if I am immune or not. Hopefully I am and I will pay a bunch of money to learn that I can stop worrying. Or I'm not and we will monitor the pregnancy more closely if Henry gets the rash.

I really hope this is nothing. Of course I'm more anxious about it than I otherwise would be because I can't stand the thought of another miscarriage, especially losing an otherwise healthy baby. And I have spent the past month trying not to barf and I darn well expect to have a cute baby to show for it at the end.

April 21
I am sick(ish). I have a horrible headache, a very small fever, and occasionally let out a moan to express my general displeasure at being awake. Fifth's? I had my blood drawn yesterday so I and I should get the results early next week. In the meantime I am staring at Henry's cheeks for signs of a rash. It's so hard to tell whether or not he has Fifth's because he's fair and his cheeks are often red.

April 24
Pretty sure Henry had Fifth's, as the redness in his cheeks is turning lacy.

April 26
Got the results of my Fifth's disease test today. It looks like I have immunity from a previous exposure, but the want me to retest in a month to make sure. I had already come to peace about the whole thing but, you know, Whew!

April 30
Me: (pausing the TV and jamming my hand down my pants) I swear I feel something!
Joel: Really?!
Me: Ya. But probably I'll just fart in a minute.

I know it's too early (I'm 11.5 weeks now), but I swear sometimes I feel stuff in my uteral region. Often it turns out to be gas but not always. It's probably the sensations of things growing and shifting around in there to make room for the whole other person living inside of me, but it's fun to imagine otherwise. Also, this is why the romance dies when you have kids. Husband doesn't really need to be interested to know if I farted or not.

May 2
My second appointment! I have been anxiously awaiting this day because hearing the heartbeat so close to the end of the first trimester is very reassuring. And we did hear it, after some searching. This little stinker was waaaay over on the right side so it took the midwife some time to find the heartbeat. But we did and it was a strong 150 bpm, just right for a 12 week babe.

We also talked some more about the Fifth's disease drama. Today I saw a CNM who's been doing OB for 20 years and has only seen one mom in all that time have a negative outcome due to Fifth's. She thinks that when I felt crummy that one day it could have been Fifth's but my previously acquired immunity protected me and the baby from a full-blown illness. She also said that at this point, with the baby still being so small, if it were going to have trouble it would have by now. So a strong heartbeat today is very reassuring. We decided to skip the second blood test because I already feel reassured and all we can really do is monitor the baby anyway.

So a happy day for us. I am so looking forward to putting the miscarriage and Fifth's disease behind us and getting on with a normal, healthy pregnancy. My due date is mid-November, so only 5.5 months left to go!

31, etc.

2011-02-27T19:50:00.004-06:00

I'm 31 today. I'm starting to be at the age where birthdays don't really matter much, though it is nice to have a day that is at least partially about me. Husband and Henry were both good to me, and my extended family, too. And now I have gift certificates to spend at Amazon, Container Store, and iTunes.

I am more excited that Husband has the entire next week off work and we have no big plans to speak of. I would love to go somewhere fabulous but instead we had a kid. We will find some fun family things to do around town but I am relieved not to have to pack the kiddo up in the car (or worse, a plane) because that is no vacation for Mama. Also, I have to get our house back in order. Husband was home sick on Thursday and Friday and in the past four days our house has become a cluttered mess and our fridge is empty. I love having him around, but I wish I could figure out a way to do that without getting completely off my game.

My big boy is 2!

2011-02-19T21:30:00.003-06:00

He's not a little caterpillar anymore. He demands to choose his own pajamas. "I dee yit!" (I did it!) is his favorite phrase. He puts his rain boots on all by himself, sometimes even on the correct feet. He hugs his friends and says bye-bye to the cashier every time we check out. The other day he said, "Biss, Mama," and kissed me right on the mouth. He loves dump trucks ("a bump bump") and Thomas the Tank ("whoo whoo"). He's got fears and knows when things are funny.

Nine years ago (or in another life, it seems) I went to India as part of my semester abroad. Someone told us that it is a country of extremes: the colors bold, the food so spicy, the desserts almost sickeningly sweet, the Taj Mahal gorgeous and serene, but the river you cross to get to it smells like an open sewer. I think having a two year-old is much the same. There have definitely been some frustrations lately (see: locked in bathroom) and wonderful moments, too ("biss").

Today we had mostly wonderful moments. I'm glad my sweet boy got to have a fun and happy birthday. I intend to write a post soon with pictures and details about his dump truck party. Happy Birthday Henry!

Really? Really.

2011-02-15T10:33:00.001-06:00

I'm writing this blog from my bathroom. Henry and I are locked in and he is not handling it well. He broke the lock off into the doorknob.

See? So the knob was stuck in the locked position. I went all Mommy McGyver (sp?) and used a pair of scissors I found in the bathroom drawer to take the screws out. Knob off, lock still engaged. So I pulled the pins out of the hinges. Still stuck.

I called MFF and my dad and neither answered. I was about to start calling other mommy friends who might be able to come bust us out but then I got a hold of Husband. He's canceling a meeting to come kick the door down. Truth be told I think he enjoys being needed for such a manly task.

So here we sit. Meanwhile, Miss Jane is at the library singing Five Little Monkeys without us.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's Hard to be Little

2011-02-10T19:26:00.004-06:00

It's also hard to be Little's mom. When Henry was a few months old I realized it never really gets easier, just different. Today we experienced the following...

-Henry woke up super early after staying up till 10:30 last night. Because overtired children sleep less, not more. I generally think kids will get what they need (nutrition, developmental play, etc.) but sleep is the exception that proves that rule.

-We had a guy come look at our hideous bathroom this morning. He called right as I was putting Henry in his car seat so we had to head back in the house. He screamed "GO GO" for a good 30 minutes but eventually let out a big sigh and said, "bye bye, go go." How sad/cute is that? The estimate is about twice what we'd like to spend, which has nothing to do with Henry but still stinks.

-Finally made it to Target and Henry lost it at the sound of one of those electric carts for disabled people backing up. I mean terrified, clinging to me, snot all over my shoulder, random lady asking if she could give him candy to make him stop crying. So I bought him a donut. He can blame me when he's an emotional eater later. He'll probably be so fat he needs one of those carts that beeps when you back up. The irony!

-We went to Party City to pick up a few things for Henry's birthday and I bought a balloon to placate him while I ordered some for the party. In the car he let go of it and cried all the way home while I tried really hard not to yell, "IT'S TIED TO YOU. %#*@ING FIGURE IT OUT!" Then we got home and he freaked out again because the balloon followed him in the house. Again, it's tied to you. Figure it out.

-Henry kicked me repeatedly every time I changed his diaper today. And if I held his legs he hit me. And if I held his arms he could not hit or kick me but then I had no hands left to WIPE HIS ASS. So he had several naked-from-the-waist-down time outs today. Jumping, screaming, business flapping - hilarious except for the part when he kicked me in the face.

- Speaking of naked from the waist down, I went in to get Henry from nap and found him pantsless, jeans thrown across the room, saying, "Oh, no, pants!" Okay, this one is actually pretty cute. Thank God he had pooped just before nap. No telling what he would have done if he'd been armed.

I am SO THANKFUL for Husband today. Also, I know typing in ALL CAPS IS LIKE YELLING. But I can't yell at the kid. Most of today was worse for him than it was for me. That's the hard part about two.

2011 in 2011 Update

2011-02-06T22:18:00.003-06:00

46 - magazines recycled
4 - Goodwill
7 - Husband's baby clothes returned to MIL
42 - old toiletries, expired medicine, etc. tossed from the bathroom
16 - miscellaneous stuff from the desk drawer trashed
9 - cards from my wallet gone
1 - gingerbread house in the trash (although I appreciate MIL bringing it to us after I left it there at Christmas)
25 - junk from the drawers in Henry's room tossed

150 more things out of my house!

Total: 358, 1653 left to go, $25

I've decided to track the money made as well, which is a nice benefit to this experiment. I've made $25 at Half Price Books so far. I hope to make a bunch more and bump my total items up a bit when I take some of Henry's old stuff to the MamaCents sale next month. Another big benefit, but harder to track than items gone or dollars made, is the fact that so many of the things we kept are actually where they go now. It's already getting easier to keep the house clean. And Husband seems to be on board. He's been asking me about cleaning out our files and I responded as I usually do when he thinks up a project: "Uh, knock yourself out." But this time he's actually doing it. Our new file cabinet arrives in 1-3 days.

Snow Day!

2011-02-04T12:26:00.006-06:00

We started off the day making pancakes. Henry is getting pretty good at spooning out flour.

All bundled up to go outside. The rain boots he's been wearing every day for two weeks finally have a purpose.

It turns out snow is pretty cold. Henry refused to wear mittens on our first trip out and he regretted it after just a couple of minutes.

Back outside with mittens this time. You can see that we really didn't get too much snow. Maybe half an inch or a little more?

Attempting to throw snowballs at Dada. They stuck to his mittens so he had to get pretty close. He calls snowballs "bay-baw" which means baseball. I thought that was a neat connection for a kid who never holds a baseball, but reads about them in his current favorite book (I Want a Hat Like That featuring Grover).

Found the dump truck sitting int he middle of the yard filled with ice. He spent about 20 minutes filling, dumping, and pushing it all over the backyard.

He protested greatly when it was time to come in. He found a dry pair of mittens and wore the the rest of the morning. The one good thing I can say about this cold snap is that Henry no longer hates hats, coats, and mittens.

This picture was taken yesterday, day two of being trapped in the house because 18 degrees is just too cold to play outside when you're little. (Or maybe it's just too cold to stand and watch when you're 30). It was also day two of Henry being super duper grouchy. I took him to the store because I thought it would help to get out of the house but he was an absolute terror. So I broke down and had Husband drag the climber in from the backyard, frozen mud, dead gecko, and all. Henry immediately became a different kid. He needed to move! It's just not in a toddler's nature to be still indoors for more than a couple of hours. I wonder if a bouncy house would fit in my living room.

Arctic Blast 2011

2011-02-02T20:42:00.003-06:00

Henry is afraid of beeps, fire alarms, and the lights going out. This is a new development. It started on Saturday when we flipped the breakers to replace some light switches and the alarm did that intermittent beep thing that happens when it loses power. I suspect he would have forgotten all about it except the fire alarm went off at school on Monday. Today we had rolling blackouts all over the state because Texas just shouldn't be this cold. So our alarm beeped and apparently the fire alarm at school goes off when there's no power. Poor kid can't catch a break. Now he's deathly afraid of even being in the building at school so they called me to pick him up early. Our alarm beeped one time this afternoon and he cried, "beep beep all done," for 30 minutes. So sad-cute.

Husband has bronchitis and his coughing kept us both up all night. And since he's a brain surgeon he still had to work this morning.

And me... well there's nothing wrong with me. Except for my sick husband who is of very little help with our suddenly incredibly fragile son. Also, it's really cold. A big winter storm is kind of fun when it's an excuse to take a day off work and hide out at home. But when you're a mommy being trapped inside just makes everything harder. And I still have to go out in the 16 degree weather tomorrow morning to buy groceries. Also, I have a big zit on my face and every time I pick Henry up he presses on it and says, "Mama bobo." Insult to injury.

I have always liked cold weather, way more than a native Texan should. But I cannot wait until spring!

Henry was cute in January

2011-01-30T19:50:00.006-06:00

Trying to tie Daddy's shoes.

Helping Mama measure flour for pizza dough. I keep hoping for that day when helping with dinner increases his interest in actually eating it.

Henry has been really into scooping rice or dried beans lately. And then he likes to dump it on the kitchen floor so he can use the broom.

Painting on his new easel (purple and red so I can pretend he made me a Valentine). I took off his clothes so they wouldn't also be purple and red but he insisted on keeping the "Dada ocks." I was nervous about paint + Henry but he did great... until he was done and ran through the house with a loaded red brush.

Helping Mama put up Valentine's decorations.

What do you say to someone who's having a miscarriage?

2011-01-27T21:18:00.000-06:00

This is something that's been on my mind since we found out we were losing our baby four weeks ago. I've been undecided about whether or not to put this on the blog. Obviously it's personal, but I'm also sensitive about trying to speak for every woman who'll ever have a miscarriage. How it affects her depends on a great number of factors, like: Is this her first miscarriage or her third? Did she "know" or was it a total shock? What are her chances of having another baby? Does she have a supportive partner? How's her life going in general? I've been lucky, my life is pretty great, but having a miscarriage is still a hard, hard thing. My hope in writing this is to help others know how to be supportive to a mom in that horrible position. It's based primarily on my experiences with a bit of input from other women who've been there. Feel free to leave a different perspective in the comments. Thanks for reading.

You don't have to say much, but say something. It's bizarre to go through an emotionally and physically traumatizing experience while those around you are pretending it didn't happen. It's hard to know what to say, so a lot of people don't say anything at all. Or they might be afraid to bring up such an emotional topic in public. I found myself in the same position when a friend from playgroup had a miscarriage a few months before me, so I get it. I didn't want to make her cry in the middle of the mall. But one of the hard things about miscarriage is that there is so little acknowledgment of the loss. And the loneliness only grows when the people around you seem awkward in your presence. "We've been thinking of you," "So sorry to hear your news," or simply, "How are you doing?" goes a long way. Those can all open up a conversation if she is in the mood to talk, but if not it's easy for her to say thanks and move along. One final thing: you don't have to wait for her to mention it. I felt awkward bringing it up everywhere I went but I still appreciated hearing kind words.

Acknowledge her thoughts and feelings. Healing after a miscarriage is like going on a bear hunt: you've just got to go through it. And getting through it is a whole lot easier when you have friends and family who will listen without judgment. Offer condolences and try to understand what she has to say, but be careful not to interject your perspective too much. You may have some thoughts that make it easier for you to process it, but there is nothing you can say that will make her feel better. It can be hard to hear that everything happens for a reason when your baby just died, or any of the other well-meaning but insensitive things people often say. One thing that did help me tremendously - talking to other moms who have had miscarriages. Even if you don't want to talk about it, just letting her know that you've shared the same experience is meaningful.

If you can't say something, do something. Maybe you're really not comfortable talking in person, or you get the impression she's just not up to it. Or you heard the news but don't see her often. There's nothing wrong with an email, text message, or private Facebook message to send along your thoughts. It's also nice to have something tangible like a condolence card or a plant (I did not want flowers that would shrivel up and die). A miscarriage is like a birth, a death, and a physical ailment all at once, so sending over a meal is welcome. Or instead you can send something to encourage her to take care of herself, like some new pajamas, tea and a pretty mug, or a pair of cozy socks.

Don't shut her out. It's okay to invite her to happy hour or even a baby shower - just let her know that you don't want to exclude her but understand if she'd rather not. You don't have to pretend you're not pregnant, but you'll have to gauge how much baby talk she's comfortable with. A big no-no is complaining about the morning sickness or 3 a.m. feedings she aches to have. I am surrounded by pregnant women and new moms right now and it makes me feel hopeful. Doesn't mean I don't get teary when a picture of a friend's newborn arrives in my inbox, but what's the alternative? Stop celebrating life and enjoying the company of my friends? That hardly seems healthy, or fair.

Just a few months ago I was that friend thinking, "Gosh, how awful for her. I wish I knew what to say." I hope this offers a little bit of insight. I wrote it assuming we are talking about a mom who is having a miscarriage but I think it's just as relevant for the dad. In fact, one of the most meaningful condolences we got was from a Google chat between Husband and an old friend. "Dude, sorry about y'all's loss. Wish it could be different." Like I said, you don't have to say much.

Haterade

2011-01-24T20:02:00.001-06:00

My blog has it's first hater. How exciting! Some random person posted a whole slew of negative comments this afternoon, which I of course deleted. He or she is deeply offended that I fed Henry solids at 6 months (too soon?), that he self-weaned at 19 months (not 19 years?), and most of all that we let him cry it out. I still am not thrilled that we went that route but it worked for him at a point when he needed sleep so badly.

I feel like I am dancing in a middle ground between two different approaches to mothering. I did let him cry it out, but I advocate natural childbirth. I nursed him exclusively, but not till kindergarten. We did cloth diapers until the poop got real. I'm not completely mainstream but I'm not 100% crunchy either. That way I get to offend everyone!

2011 in 2011

2011-01-23T22:35:00.003-06:00

I am decluttering! Last year I read about the 2010 in 2010 challenge online and I was intrigued but I wanted to start the project with a full year ahead of me. 2011 in 2011 is officially underway. The idea is to get rid of 2011 things by the end of the year. Or you can do 2011 pounds of junk, or 2011 minutes of decluttering through the year, or whatever else works for you. The point is to eliminate the physical clutter that is weighing us down.

I have decided to get rid of 2011 items. That breaks down to about 5.5 items each day, 39 per week, and 168 in a month. Those numbers sound small and manageable, but you add them all up and 2011 is daunting. While I clearly have lots of junk I don't like, need, or want, it's not like I'm a hoarder. I can walk all through my house, park both cars in the garage, and my shower and oven are not used for storage. I'm going to have to dig deep.

Tonight I started with a giant pile o' crap that's been accumulating in my bedroom for a few weeks. It's from cleaning out the guest bedroom and Henry's closet, primarily. I thought it would make a huge dent in my 2011 items, but it put me just over 10%. It was stuff like a couple of old bookcases, books, toys and baby items not worth saving for the next one, a handful of my clothes, a bunch of cheap picture frames (saved the prints), and I don't know what else. It's funny that I can't even think of everything when I just finished packing it up and loading it in the car. I broke it up into several batches: Goodwill, Kid to Kid, Half Price Books, trash, and one bookshelf that ended up sitting on the curb because it wouldn't fit in the van without taking the seats out. I predict it will be gone by the time I take Henry to school in the morning.

Also, there were 5 items I had set aside to give away but kept after all. One Barefoot Contessa cookbook with chocolate cake recipe I think I need (you know, for emergencies), an iPod Shuffle I can repurpose for Henry, a $20 cable that connects Husband's phone to the TV (crucial equipment for modern life, he swears), and two junky toys that I kept because they are dump trucks so I can put them out at Henry's upcoming birthday party.

I feel lighter already, but also overwhelmed by how much I have left to go. Final count:
Trash: 36
Goodwill: 125
Half Price Books: 46
Kid to Kid: 17
On the curb, free to passsers by: 1
Total: 225, 1786 (!) left to go

UPDATE:
Kid to Kid isn't buying today so I have to revise my total down to 208. It raises a good question about decluttering: do you choose to just get the stuff out of your house however you can or do you put forth the time and effort to make some money/find it the best home? Everyone's answer will be different based on how much time and money she has. I'm trying to figure out my answer. I can drop that big box off at Goodwill this afternoon, take it back to Kid to Kid next week, or make more money if I wait a few months for the next Mama Cents sale. Hmm.

Just Eat Food

2011-01-11T20:21:00.004-06:00

Last year we briefly (oh so briefly) tried being vegan. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think that was the last diet I will ever try. Right after that experiment I read a couple of Geneen Roth books. She is opposed to dieting because labeling foods as "good" or "bad" and then depriving yourself tends to mess with your head and create a dysfunctional relationship with food. Although really any relationship with a plate of spaghetti would be dysfunctional. You should probably have relationships with people instead, which I guess is her point. Anyway, I am not a hardcore follower but I do think her books came along at a good time for me.

I read Women, Food, and God and my main takeaway was that by analyzing your feelings about food you can also understand the underlying beliefs and emotions that are keeping you fat and unhappy. That sounds good but the book doesn't really tell you how to achieve any of that, so I also bought Breaking Free from Emotional Eating. This one is more of a roadmap. I only skimmed it, but it could surely be used to "work the steps" along with a journal to write down all your Oprah a-ha moments. I intended to do that at some point but I never really got around to it. I thought maybe I would pick it back up in the new year but my interest has waned, or at least my focus has shifted.

Lately my new mantra is Just Eat Food. I've been cooking a lot lately, and most of it is really good. I'm tired of obsessing about fat grams and Weight Watchers Points. I am no longer interested in weighing chicken breasts and trying to cut a casserole into eight equal pieces. I've done that on and off for 10 years and results (if any) have always been fleeting. Plus I find that path often leads to eating lots of fake food. Americans have only gotten fatter and more unhealthy since we stopped eating from-scratch home cooking in favor of processed, restaurant, and "convenience" foods. My gut tells me that butter that came from a cow is better than margarine that came from a chemistry lab, especially if that cow was allowed to roam around eating grass. I still read labels, but now just the list of ingredients so I can avoid all (most) of the sketchy stuff.

I once lost 27 pounds on Weight Watchers and I went to the gym exactly twice during that time. I was thin but not especially healthy. If I am feeling fat (which I totally am right now) I am trying to focus more on exercise than diet. It's been hard because I'm still not completely done with the physical recovery from the miscarriage, but that's the goal. I have also found that instead of obsessing about all the foods I'm not supposed to have I am able to think about what I should be eating more of. So at dinner my thought process is more like, "Hmm, I should steam some broccoli because I haven't eaten anything green today," instead of, "If I don't eat all this chicken I will still have enough points left for a fat-free pudding cup."

So what am I eating? Lots of home-cooked meals and leftovers. A whole new world has opened up now that I am not limiting myself to crappy low-fat recipes. I have found that I am more satisfied with less food if I use whole milk, pancetta, etc. And cooking is a whole lot more fun when the final product actually tastes good. I have been playing around with a weekly meal plan where every night is assigned a type of recipe. Once we get that figured out I hope to write a post dealing more specifically with what we are eating around here.

Blerg!

2011-01-05T11:34:00.004-06:00

Since I last posted our family has been struggling to drag ourselves over the finish line of 2010. At least one member of our family has been sick ever since I had strep back in October. We saw the slow decline of old Willie and ended up putting him down a week before Christmas. At the same time I was dealing with a difficult and ultimately unsuccessful pregnancy. I hesitate to share that with the internet (not that I have a ton of readership on my very intermittent little blog) but I feel strongly that the secrecy and mystery surrounding miscarriage makes it an unnecessarily lonely experience and is ultimately very damaging to women who have to face it. I have more thoughts in my head about the physical and emotional aspects of miscarriage that I hope to post soon but am not really in the mood to delve into right now. In the meantime, it feels appropriate to acknowledge my experience and the baby we lost in some small way.

It's funny, the last month is probably the worst of my life, and definitely of our marriage. At least it should be if you empirically judge the crap that has befallen us lately. But still I am without a doubt happier in this little life of mine than I ever was pre-Husband. Or maybe it was pre-Henry. It's hard to separate those two and the warm fuzziness they bring to my life on a daily basis.

This New Year means more to me than usual. I have lots of ideas for my life that I would love to blog about if I can find the time. I am trying very hard to have a home-cooked meal for dinner every night. I am working on decluttering our house, though perhaps less urgently now that another baby is further down the line than we expected. The other night Husband and I were talking about 2011 and we decided it should be the year of getting our sh*t together. I'll let you know how that goes.

Diary of a Slacker, Day Whatever

2010-11-07T21:22:00.006-06:00

So of course I've fallen off the wagon with blogging. My good excuses are numerous: mainly I got strep throat for a week right as Joel was going through his first end of quarter at his new job (same company). Also, cooking all your own food at home is so very time consuming. And since it's new to us I am going to one store or another almost every day. Target for the frozen fruit Husband likes in his smoothie, the farmer's market for the good milk, HEB for Henry's drinkable yogurt, Central Market for maple almond butter, Whole Foods for the pita without sketchy ingredients. It is exhausting and I feel so scattered. This really bothers me because I have spent most of the past 20 months slowly getting my act together.

So the big question is, where are we on diet? We lasted about six days as super strict vegans. Husband is now what he likes to call vaguean - good quality eggs and butter, occasionally cheese, no milk, and rarely some meat when it calls his name. I am less interested in the vegan thing, which is not surprising since it wasn't my idea in the first place. I was busting my butt and I just couldn't do it. I think it is absolutely possible to eat a full, balanced, healthy vegan diet. However, it takes A LOT of work. I found that I was not eating enough leafy greens for calcium or enough beans for protein. I was adding things like Boca Burgers in but I have a real problem with consuming processed food-like substances in the name of healthy eating. It just doesn't gel with me. I didn't feel remarkably better on the diet and I didn't lose much weight. I was tired and had headaches, either from the massive amount of work it took to prepare all that food or from a lack of protein I'll never know. It has been a good experience though, if only because it forced us to add a lot more veggies to our diets.

I know I'm done with the vegan thing but I'm not sure where to go next. At first I found myself engrossed with what I call real foods. Nina Planck and Michael Pollan are two authors I've read that offer good primers in this philosophy. Kitchen Stewardship is a great blog that digs into what it means to eat real food if you are curious. I also have been thinking back to an Oprah I saw in the spring with Geneen Roth, who wrote a book called Women, Food, and God (among many others). This is an oversimplification, but I am intrigued by her idea that you should listen to your body and eat whatever you want. I would like to work on letting my body tell me what it needs to eat, with the eventual goal of eating primarily "real food." The problem with that approach is that it is a more intuitive, gradual process than just counting Weight Watchers points. I obviously still have some thinking to do, but my gut is telling me that I am tired of obsessing about what to eat and would like to put my energies elsewhere. Especially since I've been doing it on and off for about 10 years and I am no better off. You know, the definition of insanity and all.

In other family news, Henry is almost two and boy does it show. "Uh-oh" and "no no" are the phrases this week. His name is now both a noun and an adjective. As in, he's very Henry today. His last rough patch was a couple of months ago, so I wonder if I should just expect the even months to be trying. This time around it's a bit easier because he is understanding explanations much more than he did during his last fussy spell. For example, this morning he had a screaming fit to be let into the kitchen. Once I explained WHY he couldn't come in (it had to do with our incontinent dog) he was totally fine. He's really not my baby anymore and I am trying to remember to treat him like the big little person that he is.

Okay, that's all for now. I will blog again in approximately 1-37 days.

Diary of a Vegan, Day 3

2010-10-12T13:16:00.002-05:00

We are hanging in there despite a busy couple of days. Henry has been sick with the green snotties for almost two weeks and developed a high fever last night. According to his doctor it looks like he has picked up one of those random kid viruses just as his cold was starting to get better. I also felt pretty crummy yesterday with a sinus headache and sore throat. I'm not sure if Henry has passed his germs to me or if it's just allergy-related. But I think I would feel worse than I do if I were still on the SAD (the rather appropriate acronym for the Standard American Diet). So I guess that's a win for veganism.

I feel like I am eating more often but I'm not sure that's true. I may just be more conscious of what and when I'm eating because I can't just grab a handful of goldfish crackers or a Luna Bar out of the pantry. I'm also spreading my calories out more instead of having a few large meals, which I hear is good for metabolism. Pita with hummus and olives is becoming my lunch of choice, and my favorite snack these days is the homemade trail mix I created when I was first nursing Henry and needed a quick influx of calories. Now I like it because it feels like I ate something substantial. It's my go-to snack when I really feel hungry.

3-2-1 Trail Mix

3 cups nuts (I use bulk mixed nuts)
2 cups dried fruit (usually a cup of raisins and a cup of Craisins)
1 cup dark chocolate chips

Dump it all in a bowl and stir it up. This makes a large bowl but you can very easily double it or use 1/2 cup portions instead as needed.

It's a very satisfying combination of sweet/salty/tart, as well as chocolatey enough to satisfy a dessert craving. I am trying not to have too much in a day because Rip says to limit nuts to half a handful a day if you are trying to loose weight. I far exceed that but I fear I would feel weak if I didn't. Also I break the rules and use salted nuts. I justify this because (1) I'm eating almost no processed foods so there's not much sodium sneaking in my diet, and (2) I think eating salt to taste is healthy for most people. A warning: don't leave a bag of this in your car cup holder. Even though it's October it's still hot enough to melt the chocolate chips here in Texas.

Tonight we are having Ellie Krieger's Penne with Roasted Tomatoes, Garlic, and White Beans. I'm super excited because this is a recipe Husband and I have made before and liked. Even though it fits within the parameters of the E2 diet it still feels like normal food, and these days normal is a treat. Of course we will have to forgo the parmesan cheese. Boo!

Diary of a Vegan, Day 1

2010-10-10T20:58:00.009-05:00

Today I cooked more than I ever have on a non-holiday. And Husband cooked a little bit, too. None of it was horrible, though none of it was amazing either. But I would eat it all again, vegan or not. I consider that a success since one of my goals in this experiment was to come up with some new healthy meals to incorporate into our regular diet after the 28 days are up. Here's a rundown.

Breakfast
We wanted to usher in our first day with a special breakfast so we made the french toast from The Engine 2 Diet. It was good but not great. Once I realized the odd flavor was the mashed banana it became more palatable. Here's the thing, though. You really neeeeeeed some oil in the pan when you cook virtually fat-free french toast, even if the pan is non-stick. The first batch had a beautiful brown crust which remained in the skillet, exposing the soggy innards. But I rebounded with copious amounts of cooking spray and it turned out pretty good, especially when topped with bananas, strawberries, toasted pecans, and a little dusting of powdered sugar.

Husband tried some Gimme Lean sausage with breakfast. He found it surprisingly lacking in awfulness. I thought the texture and taste were good but it left me thinking, "Hey, that kind of reminds me of Jimmy Dean sausage. Mmmm, sausage. I wish we had some real sausage." This is my problem with meat substitutes, and the reason I don't plan on incorporating a ton of fake meat into our diet. It just makes me crave something I didn't even know I wanted.

Lunch
Husband says that, up until today, he's only ever liked one vegetarian dish in his life. It's eggplant in garlic sauce from Asia Cafe in Austin. He did some Googling and found this similar recipe. We added some brown rice and substituted turbinado sugar for the brown sugar (less processed and Rip-approved). Husband was quite proud of himself. I didn't like it as much, but I am not a huge fan of eggplant or Asian food so I didn't expect to. I did think the sauce was good and I think we will use that again, but with some different vegetables and noodles for a healthy stir-fry dinner. (A note about the picture: That looks awful! It looks like a pig organ they serve in Britain. It wasn't that gross in real life.)

Dinner
I recently stumbled upon a recipe for vegan Sweet Potato Chili on an omnivore slow-cooker website. It was almost too spicy, which I guess is just the right amount. I wish it had more beans, but it is unintentionally vegan so I don't think the creator was trying to up the protein level as much as a meatless person would want. I served it with some Vegan Agave Cornbread Muffins. They were really good, sweet and light but heartier than regular corn muffins because they are 100% whole grain. I'm not sure Rip (Esselstyn, creator of the Engine Diet) would approve of the added oil and sweetener but that recipe was my favorite of the day and just about as easy as a box of Jiffy mix.

Snacks
I rounded out the day with some grapes, an apple, hummus with kalamata olives and whole wheat pita, whole-grain pretzels with natural peanut butter, and a muffin from a batch I made for quick breakfasts this week. The olives were the single best thing I ate today. I think olives are the new cheese.

So how do we feel after our first day of veganism? Physically I feel really good. It's hard to describe. Clean and even come to mind. No crashing after eating a cupcake today. I am tired, but not as tired as I have been lately and I did spend a good chunk of the day on my feet in the kitchen. Husband feels good as well, though he had a caffeine headache earlier. I think the lack of caffeine is distracting him from everything else we are giving up. Not sure if that's good or bad.

I'm glad I am feeling more energetic because my house is a mess. I scoured the internet for recipes, went to the grocery store three times this weekend, cooked four different recipes today, and did a ton of dishes. Being a vegan is hard work!

Clean Out Day

2010-10-09T22:16:00.005-05:00

Today I pulled out all the non-vegan items, processed foods, etc. out of our kitchen. I feel like Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout. Old green beans covered with something slimy, shredded chicken whose origins I cannot date, one lone ice cream cone from box I bought this summer, four kinds of pancake mix, high protein Luna bars which are like chocolate-peanut-butter-flavored chewing gum, Cheez-Its, cookie dough, half a bottle of Sprite, five different types of butter-like substances, wonderful free-range eggs that can't possibly be bad for you, cereal whose only sin is the added sugar, 1.5 cartons of milk, about 7 kinds of cheese (it's an addiction, like purses or gambling), a brand new bag of turkey pepperoni, and some mini quiches leftover from a bridal shower I threw two months ago. I came up with a big laundry basket overflowing with stuff from our pantry and four grocery bags from the refrigerator. I sent my parents home with what they would take and am hoping to give the rest of it to friends and family so it doesn't end up going to waste. I also threw out the expired soup, old leftovers, and the like.

So what's still in the pantry/fridge? Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans. And a few things I shouldn't have kept but did. I am not replacing perfectly good nuts, dried cranberries, and panko bread crumbs just because they have a little salt, sugar, or white flour in them. And I kept our collection of oils and flours that I use for baking because I don't think I will be tempted to sit down to a big bowl of pastry flour and a glass of canola oil. I also saved a few things but put them away for the next 28 days, like all our frozen meat and a huge container of taco seasoning I just bought at Costco that contains a wee bit of whey. I figure we should follow the "rules" for the 28 days we agreed to and then we can figure out the parameters moving forward.

It's interesting that the biggest change for us is not really the vegan aspect of this challenge. The majority of the food was ditched because it is in some way processed or has sketchy ingredients. I was surprised because I have been on the no hydrogenated oils and high-fructose corn syrup bandwagon for awhile now. But still it sneaks in the house. I guess that gap between intentions and actions is about 15 pounds of baby weight wide. I know I have very little discipline. I'm not the type who can eat one cookie. If no one is looking I will scrape the last of the queso out of the bowl with my finger. I think, with my personality, I do better with definite black and white. So it feels really good to get all this junk out of our house. I am excited to see what I begin to crave when only healthy options are on the table.

Tomorrow is our first real day. We have a menu planned and everything. Wish us luck!

I can't believe I am typing this

2010-10-06T13:31:00.002-05:00

Ready... It's shocking...

Husband and I are going vegan for a month.

I am shocked myself. But it was his idea, and when your husband suggests changing your diet for the healthier you kinda have to roll with it. Around his office lately several people are doing something called The Engine 2 Diet. There's a book by the same name written by a triathlete/firefighter from Austin named Rip Esselstyn. He convinced his fellow firefighters to try a plant-based diet for 28 days to help prevent heart disease. The diet is vegan and then some. The list of forbidden foods includes:

Any food containing more than 2.5 grams of fat per 100 calories.
Meat
Dairy
Oil
Refined sugars
White grains
Alcohol
Any food containing any of the above (no salad dressing with oil, no pancake mix with dried milk or white flour, etc.)

So basically everything we eat. Of course we don't even start till Sunday and we have already bent the rules a bit. We are allowing wine for cooking and a reasonable amount of healthy oils. I'm not sure what "reasonable" means yet, but I do know that I draw the line at eating steamed red potatoes with Mrs. Dash on them. Red potatoes are meant to be tossed with olive oil and garlic and roasted in the oven. And salad is actually healthier with a small amount of oil drizzled on top (many of the nutrients in veggies are fat-soluble so if you eat a fat-free salad you are missing the out on some nutrition). What are we left to eat, besides potatoes and salad? Our four food groups are now beans, whole grains, fruits, an vegetables. With sparing amounts of salt, sugar, and fat added in.

I don't see this becoming a way of life forever. I have some concerns about the long-term feasiblilty and health ramifications of eating this way. But I am game for several reasons. One, it may not be ideal but it is still better than the typical American diet we are currently eating. My diet relies too much on dairy and Husband's on meat. I am consuming way to much sugar and processed foods lately. Since I started weaning Henry a month ago I have been so tired and a bit down (weaning can cause some of the same hormonal changes as childbirth) and although I feel better everyday I am still drawn to sugar and caffeine to help me keep up with my life these days. I am hoping that eating real food instead of edible food-like substances will help boost my energy. I also think trying it for four weeks will force us to get creative and discover some new healthy recipes we can keep after the month is over. And of course there are the big picture reasons: I don't want to be a fat lazy mom. We want to set a healthy example for Henry. I have heart disease all over my family tree and I want to do my best to avoid it so I can see Henry grow up. I want to have some vitality left when I get this kid out of my house so Husband and I can enjoy a new chapter of our lives together that doesn't involve one of us in a Hoveround chair.

So we are starting on Sunday. Husband is busily filling his menu between now and Saturday at midnight with soon-to-be-forbidden foods (this morning was breakfast tacos). Being the grocery shopper and financial manager of the house I am trying to eat all the naughty stuff in the fridge so we don't have to throw it out. I am Googling up a storm and searching through all my cookbooks for some vegan recipes to try. On Friday night I think we will make a menu for the first week and then on Saturday it's off to Whole Foods. I'm interested to see how this works out budget-wise. I'm optimistic since we are aiming to stay more on the homemade/real foods end of the spectrum and away from too much of the processed and expensive meat substitutes.

I will report back on our progress soon!

If you're happy and you know it

2010-10-04T20:10:00.003-05:00

Ever since Henry got his ear tubes a few months ago he has been really into music, which is great. I can entertain him with a CD instead of parking him in front of the TV. And he is an enthusiastic dancer. Unfortunately it also means listening to "If You're Happy and You Know It" on repeat in the car everywhere we go. It's only about 57 seconds long so we hear it a lot. But Henry loves it. He claps along and even shouts "hoo-wah" sometimes. Most importantly he no longer screams in the car, which he has done since he was tiny. Well he does scream and violently make the sign for music, but when I start the song he stops.

Recently I was at a get together with a bunch of women, mostly moms, that tended more downtown hipster than my usual mommy crew. I was sharing Henry's latest musical tastes and some of them were a bit horrified. Apparently their three year-olds listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers and Ray LaMontagne. I said I wished I could listen to real music in the car but if I did it would be drowned out by toddler screams. They said I just have to nip the kiddie music in the bud right now. If you allow it at all they will become addicted and want it all the time (as Henry does). So I tried. And he screamed. Is my perceived coolness or personal enjoyment worth Henry's misery?

Is this the hill I want to die on? I think not. I mean, I drive a minivan. I wear pants with a hidden tummy control panel. I am super excited about my new vacuum cleaner. Obviously I am not cool anymore. Not that I was ever that cool to start with. Maybe that's why it's easier for me to accept that it's not about me anymore.

Which Mom are You?

2010-09-27T22:37:00.002-05:00

I think I am a nice mix of the two.

Weaning Update

2010-09-20T22:37:00.006-05:00

Well, we did it. Henry must have known because he was very cooperative. We had a long cuddly nurse on Sunday morning. He hasn't asked since, although he will point at my chest if I say "nummies." Not like he wants to nurse, just, "Hey, I know that word!"

I haven't picked out a frame yet, but we did take some pictures. First, I dug up the one I took just before he started solids.

I think he weighs about the same that he does now, just all poured into a shorter body. And how big was that diaper on him? Anyway, here's the one we did on Sunday.
Husband thought we should put clothes on him. But then you can't see his squishy thighs! And he looks so darn cute in just a diaper. I find myself letting him go pantsless around the house more and more these days because he will be too old before I know it. Or he will figure out how to finally get that diaper off and then I am really screwed.

One more picture...
Henry is playing with his weaning present, a set of Haba blocks. We bought the starter set but they cost 45 damn dollars so we will not be expanding anytime soon. Still, he loves them and they are the kind of toy we can keep forever and pass down so they fit my criteria. Bonus: I think they are pretty fun to play with, too.

ETA: In my haste to get this posted and get to bed I forgot to mention that I am very grateful for the wonderful nursing relationship Henry and I shared for 19 months. I know a lot of moms who would have loved for it to be so easy but it isn't that way for everyone. Better to have nursed and weaned than never to have nursed at all!

Dear Henry

2010-09-18T22:55:00.004-05:00

Husband and I decided awhile ago to rekindle the blog but I haven't had the time/inspiration until now. I just did a bit of writing for my own personal use tonight - a letter to Henry on the occasion of his impending weaning. Since I have something written and ready to go it seems like as good a time as any to get back to blogging. So here it is. If you don't cry I bet you've never weaned a baby!

Dear Henry,

Tomorrow is your 19 month birthday, and it is also your weaning day. This is a big day for both of us. No more nummies to help you to sleep, or comfort you when you are sick. No more nummies to bring us back together when we have had a rough day. Sometimes, especially lately, I think I have needed that special time more than you have.

I know these days you are so busy and excited to start your day that it is hard to sit still for nummies in the morning. I want so much to have a long nurse tomorrow so I can memorize every detail, and I hope you are willing. I have so many fond memories of nurturing you at my breast, but I can’t recall the first time you ever nursed. I remember trying in the delivery room as soon as you were born, but then as now you were too busy. Looking around, meeting your family, saying “hi” and “ma” and “no.” I know we must have nursed soon after (because otherwise they would have been worried) but in the wee hours of that night I have no recollection of it actually happening.

I would have plenty of chances to make memories of nursing you. In the beginning I wrote down every feeding (and diaper) because I wanted to make sure you were getting enough to eat. If you slept more than three hours at night I woke to nurse you so you could grow big and strong. Then Dr. Wacker told me to stop doing that and let us both get some sleep. At your two week check-up you had already gained over a pound! Your Daddy couldn’t feed you at first but he helped me. When we were still learning how to nurse it took both my hands to hold your squirmy little body close to mine. Daddy brought me water with a straw and held it so I could drink while you did. Once he fed me a taco while I nursed you, trying not to spill any on your head, because making all that milk for you made me so hungry that I couldn’t wait.

Even though you took to it well, nursing wasn’t always easy. It was exhausting to be the only one who could feed you, and it hurt at first. You often pooped when you ate, and that made a big mess all over me. But it also felt so right, like how a mama was meant to love her baby. You looked so happy afterward. The books call it “milk drunk.” You looked thoroughly content when I sat you up for a burp, your head rolling side to side, eyes heavy, milk dribbling from the corner of your mouth. You could not talk yet, but you were saying, “Mama, thank you.”

When you were a few months old I calculated that you had nursed about 800 times. It seemed like a lot then, but we were just getting started. When you were six months old you had your first solid food, but just before we took a picture together so I could always remember what you looked like at that moment, 100% mama grown. For 15 months, first in my belly, then at my breast, I had nourished you. And you were perfect.

We nursed on, over time nursing less and eating more. You were never much of a napper, but I could always count on you to nurse yourself to sleep. Some afternoons, when I was really tired, I would sit in our nursing chair with you at nap time. I figured out how to hold you and sit across the chair so we could both sleep, rocking and nursing when you stirred. At night you woke me three times to nurse, then two, and finally one. I loved and hated those midnight feedings. They were a little secret of ours that know one else could know, just mama and baby dozing together under the blanket your grandmother knitted you.

Suddenly your first birthday was upon us! I always thought I would wean you when you turned one, but I wasn’t ready and neither were you. I learned about extended breastfeeding and child-led weaning. I decided to partially wean you down to twice a day (more if you asked) because I knew I could do that as long as you needed me to. I hoped we could make it to your second birthday, and then I would think again about how much longer we would nurse.

On your first birthday you were sick with an ear infection. I nursed you all day and night and you ate almost nothing else. I nursed you through your emergency room visit. After your stitches I got to watch the monitors as your heart rate and blood pressure went down while you nursed. It was so neat to see proof of the magic of mama’s milk. I nursed you through head bonks and smashed fingers. I nursed you when you were tired and cranky. I nursed on our hardest days, so I could show you that I still loved you through the frustration of parenting a toddler. I could not imagine how I would comfort you if I didn’t have nursing to rely on.

Around the time you turned 18 months old things began to change. You no longer ask for nummies when you need comfort. Instead you curl up next to me, head on my knee, while I rub your back. You give lots of hugs now and an occasional awkward, open mouth kiss. You no longer fall asleep while you nurse, no matter how badly you need a nap. If you hear Daddy in the morning you squirm out of my lap and run off to find him. Sometimes you say “bye bye” to the nummies as soon as I sit down with you in our nursing chair. You always want the side I haven’t offered you. You want things to be your idea, not mine, because you are becoming your own person now. A few days ago I stopped trying to nurse you after your nap. I am lucky to have five minutes with you in the morning. As sure as I was that you were not ready when you turned one, I know that you are ready now. It’s time.

So tomorrow will be our last day nursing together. I hope you let me nurse you a good, long time in the morning. I will watch your toes curl, your jaw move. You will pull my hair or put your fingers in my mouth. You will clutch Bun Bun close to you. I might tickle your belly so I can watch you grin while you nurse, my favorite memory of your time as my nursling. Then you will be done. I will try to hug you but you will wiggle out of my arms. Daddy will take our picture, just like he did the day you started solids. I will buy a double frame for those pictures that I will keep always, and then take you shopping for a special weaning toy. Maybe we will read Mama’s Milk one more time, and I will cry like I am right now. I am excited every day to see the boy you are becoming, but I will always mourn the baby you will never be again.

I love you,

Mama

P.S. Daddy read this, and he cried too. We both love you so much!

I Just Spent $16 at the Target Dollar Spot

2009-10-05T21:50:00.004-05:00

It was all for Halloween, which suddenly seems worth observing now that we have a kid. In my defense, four of the items cost $2.50. Remember when everything there was just a dollar? Anyway, they had a ton of cute baby stuff: socks, bibs, shirts, hats, and leggings. It's all thin and cheap, but it's holiday themed and I don't expect Henry to wear any of it more than twice. I also got some decorations for the front porch and a set of pumpkin dish towels. I hope to make them into dish towel bibs as soon as I learn how to sew.

Here's my loot:

At first I was kind of horrified that I spent that much money on what is essentially disposable crap, but now that I see it all laid out, I feel pretty proud of myself.

Friday Fun Five

2009-10-02T13:40:00.002-05:00

I hope at least one of these is fun for you. With Husband and MFF both out of town for the majority of the week I have spent way too much time alone with a teething baby, so I haven't had as much time as usual to waste online. Hope to do better next week!

Cynthia Rowley has a line at Babies R Us now. I enjoy finding reasonably priced baby boy clothes that don't have phrases like "Mommy's Little Slugger!" all over them.
Here's a video of a baby dancing to Beyonce. Apparently lots of parents record their babies dancing to Beyonce and put it on You Tube, but this one is my favorite. Especially the leg kick.
I enjoy reading the Mothering.com message boards even though it's a little crunchy even for me. If you can ignore the anti-circumcision rants I think you will enjoy this post about the best parenting advice you've ever received.
Husband thinks Eliza Dishku is super hot so I was amused at how much her belly reminds me of Henry's in these sexy photos.
I am also amused at how little news is actually involved in both the CNN network and their website these days. For example, their website has a list of 18 things mothers should teach their sons about women. I am down with most of them, disagree with a few, and am completely baffled by number 12. When has it ever occured to a man to buy a woman shoes?

Buy This, Not That: Sleep Edition

2009-09-30T22:17:00.008-05:00

As a first-time mom I had the misguided inclination to buy lots of soft, pretty, brand new baby items I had seen advertised in the back of magazines at my OB's office. Most of these expensive baby "necessities" are marginally useful at best, some are truly pointless, and a few are innovative enough to actually justify the baby mark-up. Of course every baby is different and every mom prioritizes baby wants and needs differently, but here's my two cents on what's worth it and what's not.

Buy the cheapest clock radio Target sells ($6)...
...not the Cloud B Sleep Sheep ($25)

The Sleep Sheep is a small white noise machine encased in a fluffy stuffed sheep with a velcro strap that attaches it to your baby's crib. It's cute and comes with four different nature sounds. My big complaint is that it will only stay on for 45 minutes. This is, coincidentally, about the length of an average baby's sleep cycle. That means that just as your baby drifts into a light, easily disrupted state of sleep the white noise meant to lull him back suddenly cuts off. It's kind of like having an epidural for the first 45 minutes of labor: nice enough while it lasts, but not really as helpful as it could be. I bought the cheap clock so I could check the time in the wee hours when I go in to feed Henry, but I soon realized that turning the radio on and setting the station to static sounds very similar to the rain sound on the sheep. And it stays on for as long as I want it to without draining batteries.

Buy the Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe ($9)...

...not the Swaddle Designs Ultimate Receiving Blanket ($22)
FYI, swaddling is wrapping your baby up like a burrito. It make them feel secure enough to sleep since it's uncool to let them sleep on their tummies these days. I read that the Ultimate Receiving Blanket was the best swaddling blanket available, and it is significantly better than those craptacular little flannel blankets everyone who doesn't have kids yet gives you. However, it's still just a big ol' piece of fabric and by his fourth day of life Henry was already able to bust out of it during a nap. I also tried something called the Miracle Blanket, which is even more expensive. It keeps your baby secure but it is such a pain to wrap around your baby, especially in the dark after your third diaper change of the night. The SwaddleMe is just right. The velcro patches make it easy to get on a squirmy baby and difficult for them to wriggle out of. And it's cheap enough that you can afford to have an extra on hand for the inevitable midnight diaper leak.

Buy a swivel glider from a real furniture store ($430)...

...not the one that matches your crib from the baby store ($170)

This is a rare occasion in outiftting our home for a baby that I wish we had spent more money. We picked out the ugly glider set because Husband insisted on a glider (he was right, so much more practical than a rocker) but I was too cheap to spend almost $1000 for a nice upholstered one designed for baby nurseries. The cushion was so thin I had to sit on a pillow and the gliding mechanism did not survive the period around 8 weeks when Henry would only fall asleep after 30 minutes of mach speed rocking. I gave up and we ended up getting the nicer glider at Havery's for not too much money. The gliding mechanism is all metal, as opposed to wooden pieces screwed together and the cushion is delightful. It's more than the lower end Babies R Us gliders but still several hundred dollars cheaper than the nursery gliders that are nice enough to actually stand the test of time. My only regret is that it doesn't recline, although Henry's room is too small for that anyway.

Here Comes the Sun

2009-09-29T22:53:00.002-05:00

Here are some good things that happened today.

I found frozen organic mango chunks at HEB and Henry thinks chewing on them is fabulous for his sore toofies.
Henry fell asleep in his crib at naptime for the first time in so long. There was a bit of crying but not nearly like it used to be.
That nap lasted 2.5 hours with no intervention from me. (His typical nap lasts 30-45 minutes and then I try to rock him back to sleep to extend it a bit.)
I got to take a nice nap this afternoon (see #3).

I am making a conscious effort to accentuate the positive because I don't want Henry to grow up with a negative whiny mom. However, lately that's been harder and harder to do because I've just been worn out. Henry's five month sleep disturbance has been going on for two months now and Husband has been traveling every week for the past couple of months. But Husband is taking off all next week and Henry seems to be sleeping a bit better so I finally see some light at the end of this long tunnel. It's nice for Husband to ask me about my day and for me to honestly be able to say, "It was good!"

Reduce Reuse Recycle

2009-09-28T22:25:00.003-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I realized that Henry was suddenly a big boy and I felt like I needed to replace a lot of his baby toys with something more developmentally appropriate. So I bought a few things and a friend of mine dropped off a ton of big toys her kids have outgrown. I have been excited to see how he would react to all his new baby swag. Here are his five favorite toys in no particular order:

Empty water bottles
Empty chip bags
Granola bar wrappers
Cell phones
Remote controls

As you can see, none of these are intended for baby play. I'm glad I got most of his new toys from a friend instead of spending a ton of money on toys that he enjoys slightly less than a used Ziplock bag. This is why experienced moms don't buy pretty new things for their babies. Even those of us who can afford not to tend to shop at consignment shops for baby items. I think Henry's next new toy will be an empty bread crumb canister filled with nickels.

I used my new iPhone to take this picture of Henry chewing on an empty water bottle. I have a new iPhone because Henry spit was not compatible with my old phone. We'll call that a happy accident.

Friday Fun Five

2009-09-25T15:57:00.002-05:00

I'm glad I started this Friday tradition because I know I can at least get around to blogging once a week. I think it's possible that Henry may be cutting his two top teeth soon. Or he is possessed. Or constipated. I don't know. Either way he's not been much of a sleeper this week and he has started screaming himself awake after every nap. It would be cute if it weren't so sad. The way he hold his fists up in the air and grunts looks a little like Lou Ferrigno turning into the Hulk.

Anyway, I have managed to pull together five fun links for your viewing pleasure. Like a fat sorority girl on a never-ending diet, I will try to pull it together on Monday and get back on program with the blogging.

I saw this video mentioned on the nightly news. So if you are my parents you have probably already seen it. Apparently kids who have the willpower to wait for the second marshmallow perform better in school. Hmm, what a nonsensical sentence.
Now that it's not, as Husband says, balls hot anymore I thought you might be interested in visiting your local zoo. Here's a list of zoos and aquariums by state.
If you are not offended by profanity I highly recommend this guy's Twitter page. Or even if you are. It's relatively harmless old man rant kind of profane.
Apparently Fail Blog has a baby iteration. This is my favorite submission.
Here's an article about the six kinds of friends a mom should have. I'm counting MFF for at least three of these. I don't have time to maintain a serious friendship with six different people.

And he's up!

I wish I knew how to sew

2009-09-22T20:10:00.007-05:00

Husband and I have had many conversations about Halloween since Henry was born. It's suddenly very important to me. Even though Henry won't remember this year, I still feel like I would be a bad mom if I didn't start creating some family traditions around the holidays. Also, Husband's office has a costume competition and I want to participate. Last year the winners in the family category were a baby girl dressed up like a lobster and her dad in a chef costume. He carried her around in a giant pot. How cute is that?

So we've gone through several ideas over the past few months. I want a theme to unite all three of our costumes. When Henry was little we called him Henrypotamus, so I thought about dressing him up as a hippo and husband as some other animal and me as a zookeeper. Get it? I like the symbolism. However Henry is kind of fat and I don't think we should be the ones to popularize the Henrypotamus nickname. Also, baby hippo costumes cost about $40, but adult animal costumes cost way more. And Husband isn't allowed to be a zookeeper too because it's not as funny that way.

While watching Jordan Shipley careen into Bevo this weekend I had a genius idea to have Henry be Bevo, Husband a football player, and me a cheerleader. Logistics got in the way of this one, as apparently there is not a big market for baby livestock costumes. I'm sure we could find football player and cheerleader costumes but they probably wouldn't be burnt orange and that's kind of the point.

I also thought we could be the McDonnoughs from Raising Arizona. It's a movie theme so I was sure Husband would love it, but he was surpsingly lukewarm on the idea. He is afraid it's too obscure and he would look stupid at work all day with a panty on his head until we arrive to complete the family costume. I am bummed because Henry would have been so easy - just some Huggies. I did have trouble locating my police woman costume to be Edwina, as every adult woman costume is an adult woman costume if you know what I mean. I don't think my costume this year needs to involve hot pants and a push-up bra.

So a couple of nights ago I was rambling to Husband about Halloween and we figured it out. Henry will be an alarm clock and we will wear pajamas and look sleepy (not a stretch). It's a metaphor, you see. Our part is super easy and it's an excuse to wear pajamas all day. I am a little worried about Henry's costume because I will need to make it myself. I found directions for this one online and I think I can do it with minimal sewing. I feel very Project Runway about the whole thing. I'm a little uneasy since I have virtually no crafting ability, but I keep hearing Tim Gunn telling me to make it work!

Friday Fun Five

2009-09-18T13:47:00.002-05:00

I wish I was cool enough to wear this breastfeeding shirt from Etsy.com.
Here are some pictures of sleeping newborns. Cute, but I think they have been drugged. Don't have a baby if you're thinking it will ever be like this.
The Huffington Post created a slide show of the most inappropriate children's products. I agree with six of the seven. Can you guess which one I would actually buy for my kid?
A few weeks ago MFF introduced me to Manbabies.com. I'm not sure why it took me so long to post it on the blog. This one is my favorite.
Although I generally don't enjoy Katherine Heigl, I think I might need to steal her new baby.

This is How Moms Let Themselves Go

2009-09-17T22:01:00.003-05:00

I went to Old Navy today to get Henry out of the house and shop for some clothes. I am very sad that cool weather is around the corner and I still don't fit into my normal clothes. Now I have to buy myself an entire new fall wardrobe a size or two larger than the one I currently own. I hoped to be able to say nine months on, nine months off, but to meet that goal I would have to lose 15 pounds in two months. I don't really see that happening as long as I am nursing Henry.

So I wandered around for a while and found myself drawn primarily to pajama pants and hoodies. But seeing as I endeavor to actually leave the house this fall, I soldiered on. It wasn't easy, as I now have the following requirements when buying an article of clothing:

Less than $20 (refuse to invest too much money in a wardrobe I don't plan on needing for long)
Nothing labeled "low rise" or "skinny"
I am oddly drawn to phrases like "roomy through the seat" and "hidden tummy panel"
Nothing that requires ironing
No cargo pants or front pockets or anything else that draws unnecessary attention to the hips and thighs
No single digit sizes (who am I kidding?) and nothing over a size 12 because I would rather just wear stretchy pants every day
No dresses (it's hard to discreetly nurse in public with my underwear showing)
Can't make me look like I am currently pregnant

This list means that my wardrobe consists almost entirely of t-shirts and high-waisted denim bottoms purchased from the sale rack at Old Navy or Target. In my mind this is only temporary, but what if I never lose these last 15 pounds? And then we have another kid and I add 15 more? Do I admit defeat and start buying clothes in an unspeakable size that actually fit me? That cost more than $20 and are well-made? Probably not. Probably by the time I reach this sort of acceptance we will have to pay for Henry's braces or something.

This is how it happens. This is how you go from cute young married woman to frumpy tragic mom in the carpool lane who doesn't even remember owning a pair of dress pants. It almost motivates me to get up early tomorrow morning and work out. Almost.

Staycation All I Ever Wanted

2009-09-16T20:20:00.002-05:00

Husband is taking a week off in October. Ideally we would be off to Hawaii or the mountains to see the leaves change or somewhere else equally relaxing. Unfortunately we had a baby.

It's just not an option for me to leave him behind. Even if I wasn't breastfeeding I still think I would miss him terribly. I miss him now and he's been asleep for an hour and a half. I know we could take him along, but why subject myself to the misery? While there are many wonderful things about being a stay-at-home mom, the worst is that my job follows me wherever I go. If we take Henry with us I don't really get a vacation because I still have to do all the things I always do times 100 because he will be a mess from traveling, being off schedule, trying to sleep in a strange place, etc.

So we have decided on a staycation. Apparently this is quite trendy now as everyone is poor, so I will jump on the bandwagon and use this made up word that Blogger thinks is a typo. My plan is to break the week (really nine days!) into chunks. The first couple of days Husband and I will work like mad to get the house cleaning, yard work, laundry, etc. done. This way I will be able to take a break from my Cinderella-like duties for the rest of the week. After that we will eat off paper plates and put Henry in disposible diapers and just generally not do anything that would create a mess. Then I would like to have at least one day of what MFF calls baby vacation. That means I do nothing baby-related except breastfeeding and Husband does everything else for Henry. That ought to wear both of them out. We would also like to spend a few days doing some fun things, like driving to the zoo in Waco or taking Henry down to our wedding location. I expect the last couple of days will be back to normal, with Husband working glumly and me being glad he is occupied because he was starting to annoy me.

So, it's not Paris, but it's also not the monotony of my everyday life. I am a little too excited.

Holy Housecleaning Batman

2009-09-15T20:36:00.003-05:00

I don't have time to write a proper post tonight because I have to empty the dishwasher for the second time today, reload it, and then fold about five loads of laundry. I feel like Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout except with dishes and laundry instead of garbage. Why is it that having one extra little person seems to have quadrupled the household chores?

Friday Fun Five

2009-09-11T18:56:00.002-05:00

Here's a picture of Jessica Simpson's cleavage. I don't mean to pile on, but I thought it would make you mamas feel better about your own boobs to know that this is what the knockers of a childless sex symbol look like unsupported.
Breezy Mama presents a list of must-read parenting books. These are of increasing interest to me as Henry grows older and my parenting responsibilities become more involved than feed, change, and prevent serious injury or death.
These are the twins Rebecca Romijn-not-Stamos-anymore had with the fat kid from Stand by Me. I can never remember his name, but I adore how freaking cute and normal these little girls seem.
Having a rough day? Need to feel better about yourself as a parent, or just as a person in general? Check out People of Walmart.
Some days being a stay at home mom is a bit too much and I start longing for my single days. That is stupid. Here is a good reminder of why.

In Soviet Russia Baby Trains You

2009-09-09T21:34:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the accidental blog vacation. I haven't posted for the past few days for the same reason I didn't blog for the first five months of Henry's life: I'm exhausted. This kid is wearing Mama out! After briefly dipping his toe in the sleeping through the night pool, he is back to waking up at least twice a night. I think it's a combination of hunger (still struggling with solids) and not ever getting back on track after visiting the in-laws a couple of weeks ago.

It's like deja vu all over again, except this time I feel like I am a wiser mommy who is better able to handle the stress of a baby who will not sleep or eat when the books say he is supposed to. Mostly this is because I took a big stack of those books to Half Price recently. I only made $10, but the symbolism was priceless. Adios, Baby Whisperer. I hate that bitch! I think a 300 page critique of my thighs would make me feel better about myself than that book. Very condescending, like I know you didn't mean to royally screw up your baby, love, but I will show you how to fix him.

I spend a lot of the early months of mommyhood trying to train my baby, but it turns out I needed to let him train me. I tended to approach him as I did third graders, which is not, as they say, developmentally appropriate. I had structure and rules and consequences in my classroom, but none of that applies to a six month old. As much of a struggle as it has been, I feel like he has changed my paradigm in a way that will help me parent him better from this point forward. Now that I am a little more Zen about this whole baby thing I am learning a lot from him.

I have learned that he's a fan of ingenuity, as no single textbook method has ever worked for him. Crying it out worked beautifully for bedtime, but never for naps. For naps I had to hold him in my arms for every nap for a couple of weeks like Dr. Sears says before he would sleep in his crib, even though the first book said I should be consistent and that it would confuse him to do something different for naps and bedtime. (By the way, any expert who says their method will work for every baby is trying to sell a book, not help me figure out my kid.)

Also, he will not do anything when I want him to. He will not spit up when I have a burp cloth in my hand, he will not poop until just after I put a fresh diaper on him, and he seems to know when I am really deperate for him to fall asleep because then he is all smiles. I have to fake him out in order to get him to eat solids. I put the bowl just out of his reach and then pretend I am going to take a bite myself. Suddenly he becomes very interested in his pureed squash. I should write a book about reverse psychology and the infant. I guarantee it will work every time.

Oh, Henry

2009-09-02T21:54:00.002-05:00

Remember how awkward Chelsea Clinton used to be?

And she probably still would be if she didn't have a gillion dollars to spend on hair, makeup, and wardrobe. Don't get me wrong, I like Chelsea. You have to feel for a girl thrust into the national spotlight at the horrendous age of 12. It just seems that she struck out in the genetic lottery, like she got the worst features of both parents combined into one homely package.

I'm worried that Henry, too, lost the genetic jackpot. Not as far as appearance, because he is one adorable ass baby. I am worried about his personality, specifically Husband's persnicketyness combined with my stubbornness.

In order to get him to sleep I had to rock in the glider, pat his bottom, shush in his ear, cover his eyes, and let him suck on my finger all at the same time. Not a pacifier, my finger (see Husband's persnicketyness). And not one or two of these. All five, every time he went to sleep, for months on end (see my stubbornness).

This tendency to want exactly what he wants only the way he wants it is now spilling over to eating solids. He will eat in my lap (not the high chair), if the food is super hot, and only if it pureed until it is almost liquid with no texture at all. Sometimes. I don't know why we thought this would be easier than anything else so far.

Oh, Henry. I have to tell myself what I used to tell the parents of my especially annoying students. What drives you crazy when they are little will be a character strength when they are older. I hope Henry's kindergarten teacher shares that philosophy!

I'm Really More of an Ideas Person...

2009-09-01T19:20:00.003-05:00

This is a favorite saying around our house. It is originally attributed to a guy Husband used to work with who was right out of school. He was receiving some constructive criticism about his lack of follow through with work projects. We thought it was really funny thing for a fairly incompetent 23 year-old to say and it gets repeated a lot. "Husband, will you empty the dishwasher?" "I don't know, Wife, I'm really more of an ideas person."

I was reminded of it because I have several ideas for websites inspired by motherhood but I clearly have no ability/interest/time to follow through. It seems I, too, am really more of an ideas person.

Momcycle.org - A website where you could type in your zip code and be presented with a list of nearby nonprofits that could use your old baby stuff. In six months I have acquired so much baby gear and so many baby clothes that I am saving for the theoretical next one. I already daydream of someday getting this crap out of my house when it is no longer needed. I usually just dump stuff at Goodwill but I know there are charities with more specific needs, like Any Baby Can, that would probably put it to better use. I actually considered doing this until Husband told me it would involve databases, which sound awfully boring.
Grandparentsguide.com - I know many parents dread hearing, "Back when you were a baby..." This website would be a primer for grandparents to help bridge the generation gap between what we do now and what they did then. One section could help grandparents understand the current conventional wisdom about raising babies. For example, I know you gave Husband rice cereal when he was five weeks old, but my pediatrician (and the AAP and the WHO) recommend starting solids at six months for breastfed babies. Another could explain all the newfangled modern baby equipment. I know I had a carseat in 1980, but it was merely decorative compared to Henry's modern Britax. Since I am far, far too lazy to compile all this information I am thinking about giving the grandparents each a copy of Baby 411 for Christmas. It's a fairly mainstream book written by an AAP spokesperson that clearly explains all the ways that I am not, after all, crazy.
MomHarmony.com - Many of you know that I met Husband on eHarmony what feels like many, many years ago. Now I want to harness the power of the internet to find more mommy friends. MFF has introduced me to Meetup.com and so far, so good. But I want more. I want to take a parenting personality quiz and be matched up with compatible mommies. Also, I want them to be within five miles of my house. I've got a nap schedule to attend to.

How many teeth does a baby get?

2009-08-31T22:23:00.004-05:00

That's probably something I should know, either from junior high health class or because I'm the mom and moms know stuff like that. The reason I ask is because Henry is trying really hard to cut his first tooth and it has thrown our happy home into disarray. I'm wondering exactly how many more times we have to do this.

At Henry's three month check up our pediatrician said his gums looked a little swollen and that she wouldn't be surprised if he had a tooth soon. Fast forward three and a half months and he's still toothless. I thought he was teething on and off for three months but I didn't know what teething was. It reminds me of being in labor. Yes, I was in labor at 10 a.m. and it did hurt, but I wasn't really in labor until about 8 p.m. and Henry wasn't born until the middle of the night. Right now I am anxiously awaiting the birth of Henry's first tooth.

I'm not sure how much more low-pitched whining I can take. I feel like he has regressed to being a newborn again, up screaming in the middle of the night and all. Except I am no longer in shape for the up-all-nights. I had a brief but glorious taste of sleeping through the night and I want it back. Henry's has regressed to eating around the clock and is so far not a big fan of solid food. I have visions of bringing my nursing cover to the cafeteria everyday when he's in kindergarten and he still doesn't have any teeth and still won't eat anything but breastmilk.

Friday Fun Five

2009-08-28T16:11:00.006-05:00

Kendra and Kourtney talk babies. It's a special person that makes Kendra look like the smart one. Hat's off to you, Kourtney Kardashian. I especially enjoy her broadcasting to the world that she was going to terminate the pregnancy until she Googled abortion and it really got her thinking.
Mama's Milk by Michael Elsohn Ross. A children's book with beautiful illustrations of mamas of various species nursing their babies.
Baby Goods Fail courtesy of Fail Blog. This is an old one but it still amuses me. Too bad little babies can't have citrus fruit. Henry's Corona just won't be the same without the lime.
Have Baby Will Travel. Remember a while back when I found and then lost an awesome baby travel website? Here it is.
GaGa Deals from Baby Earth. Necessity seems to be the mother of invention for retailers in this economy. Baby Earth, one of my favorite baby stores/websites, has a new feature called the GaGa Deal. Every hour during the day they put a new baby or kid product on sale. It starts at full price and goes down a penny every second or so until it sells out. They have a wide variety of items, from $10 puzzles to $300 car seats and everything in between. Obviously it's a good way for them to clear out some overstock, like the 2008 Maclaren Quest stroller, but still quite a bargain for us moms. That's called a win-win. Or a win-win-win ;) Most products seem to get down to 40-50% off before they sell out.

Book Recommendation: King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking

2009-08-27T19:30:00.005-05:00

Henry is eating more and more solid food everyday, and I am finding myself very picky about what I will feed him. An entire shelf in my freezer is filled with little cubes of frozen purees I made from fresh, organic fruits and veggies. I recently compared the basic Gerber rice cereal with the Earth's Best. Whole grain, organic, and without added soy oil (!) for only 15 cents more made Earth's Best the clear winner.

I realized that I am significantly more concerned with Henry's food than I am my own. As Oprah would say, I had an ah ha moment. Why am I willing to put crap in my body that I wouldn't let Henry eat? I'm talking to you, scrumptious frozen Red Baron French bread pepperoni pizza... I just need a moment to remember the taste in my mouth. Mmm. Although I do not buy them anymore I still walk by and visit them in the freezer case every week at the store. Such crunchy, greasy deliciousness... Okay, I'm back. It makes especially little sense when you consider that my food has been Henry's food for the past 15 months.

Anyway, this realization has inspired me to expand my healthy cooking repertoire. A couple of weeks ago I ordered a book called Whole Grain Baking that is produced by the King Arthur Flour company. I was not aware, but apparently they have published numerous well-regarded baking cookbooks. Since it had good reviews and I read cookbooks like novels at bedtime, I decided to splurge.

I was really impressed when the book arrived. It is huge! Like as big as the dictionary I used in high school back in the dark ages when high school students used actual dictionaries to write English papers. There are 10 chapters of recipes for everything you could possibly imagine making with whole grain flour, as well as an introduction, glossary, and other appendices to help the uninitiated reader jump into whole grain baking.

So far I have tried two recipes. Last week I made the sour cream muffins, which is their basic moist, tender muffin recipe. They recommended adding blueberries or diced stone fruit so I used some nectarines and they were really yummy. Husband doesn't like fruit mixed with other things (I know, I know) but he liked the muffin and suggested I make them again without any fruit. You could definitely tell by looking that they were made with whole wheat flour, but the taste and texture was as good as a regular muffin. Definitely a keeper.

The other night we had breakfast for dinner, which is my favorite thing in the world. I made some spelt pancakes from the cookbook, which were surprisingly good. A little dense, but the flavor was really nice. Husband liked them enough to clean his plate, although I think he sees them as pancake heresy. I will have to call them something different like yummy happy cakes so Husband will not be comparing them to the Aunt Jemima pancake mix he grew up on. I always hear gluten intolerant people talk about spelt and I assumed that it was something horrible you would only eat if you couldn't eat real bread. I learned in my cookbook that it is just a traditional form of wheat. Oh, I can feel my horizons broadening.

So far, the cookbook is two for two. Next I plan to conquer homemade pizza crust (there's one you can make the night before) or chocolate chip cookies (the Holy Grail of baking, in my opinion). I will be mucho impressed if either of those turns out well. I have high hopes because the recipes seem very thoughtfully created. I have read elsewhere that you can make any recipe more nutritious by just substituting whole wheat flour for all or half of the regular flour. I have tried and this is so not true. This book has different ratios of white and whole wheat flour in every recipe so you can tell they tested until they found out how much whole grain you could get away with before the flavor was compromised. They also have specific techniques, like letting the muffin batter rest an hour before baking, that help with some of the texture concerns.

Overall I am very pleased with this cookbook and would recommend it highly. I have so many pretty cookbooks that sit on the shelf, but I can tell this is one that will actually be used regularly.

Suddenly it was a little too quiet...

2009-08-26T21:46:00.005-05:00

Today I had my first experience with Henry suddenly getting very quiet because he was up to something naughty. This makes me worry for the future, as the kid is only six months old.

He was playing on the floor in his room this afternoon and I was eating a snack. I got up to put some clothes in the dryer and he immediately started fussing. I was (foolishly) relieved when he stopped crying after a few seconds. Turns out he was on a mission. He can't crawl yet, but he is getting more and more adept and scooting on his belly. He made it a couple of feet over to my plate that was sitting on the floor. I came back to find him smearing applesauce all over his face.

This morning I was telling MFF that I couldn't decide what food to try next now that Henry's doing pretty well with rice cereal. I guess he chose applesauce. I decided to let him try a spoonful since he had already smeared it all over his face. Henry was not a fan...

I showed Husband this video and his first remark was that we can't post it online because you can see Henry's bum in the background. (Henry was on the floor airing out a diaper rash.) Husband is worried that we will be prosecuted for child pornography. I told him nobody would notice because his face is so darn cute! Hope I'm right. Otherwise I will have to go to jail and prove Husband right at the same time.

Six Months Old!

2009-08-19T20:38:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it's been half year already. The first four months felt about right, but these last two have just flown by. I remember being amazed when Henry rolled over because it was the first time he could exercise his free will. Now he is rolling, scooting, picking up, chewing, and throwing all day long. All the sudden I have a big boy, not just a little baby. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. He is still my little man, but before long he will be a big stinky boy. Will he still take naps in my lap when he is 12? (I understand that if he does that will have serious implications for his social well being in middle school, but I still want it to be this way forever.)

We are off to visit the in-laws this weekend, but as soon as we get back Henry will start solids. I waited until six months for a variety of reasons. Honestly, my primary reason was that I just didn't want to mess with it. Once babies have solids (or formula, I hear) they have real people poop. Breastfed baby poop is not my favorite thing, but it's better than being up close and personal with the real deal. Especially because we use cloth diapers and I will soon have to rinse of poopy diapers instead of just throwing them in the pail. Not sure how I feel about that. Also, it's just one more thing to do. More dishes to wash and one more thing to run out of, necessitating a last minute run to the store. MFF has been doing solids for awhile and she says it's like a flashback to the newborn days because she is always feeding her little man. At first you are supposed to maintain their normal breastfeeding routine and work up to three meals a day. That's a lot of mommy time!

Thanks to the WHO and the AAP for justifying my laziness. They both recommend that babies be exclusively breastfed for the first six months. The guidelines for formula fed babies are different. I have been very fortunate that I have never needed to supplement and at first I was sad about the idea of him having anything but breast milk. So far he is entirely my creation, all 18 1/2 pounds of him.

So I was all gung ho about waiting until six months, and a little conflicted about starting solids then. I was even considering delaying a couple of months longer until our upcoming travel plans are complete. Then about two weeks ago Henry started a never-ending growth spurt. He has been eating at least every two hours during the day and getting up again at night after giving me a brief taste of sleeping all the way through. He also took a bite out of a piece of junk mail and chewed it like gum a few days ago. This kid is ready!

So this past weekend we went to IKEA and bought Henry a high chair. I was going to get a traditional high chair from Babies R Us but I am mad at them. They have sent me a non-stop stream of 15% off coupons since Henry was born, but now that I want to buy something expensive they have cut me off! So instead I bought the Antilop High Chair in white ($19.99), a tray attachment ($5), and a machine washable cushion to keep him from slumping over ($3.99). So, for about $29 I got a good basic high chair. It doesn't take up too much space, Henry sits in it just fine, and the tray is pretty easy to get on and off with one hand. My only complaint so far is that it pulls up to our dining room table but not under it, which would be nice when Henry starts eating meals with us. It is super easy to put together and take apart for storage or to bring along to my in-laws. I think he likes it:

I Should Have Taken Home Ec in High School

2009-08-18T21:50:00.002-05:00

Silly me, applying myself in AP Calculus. I should have been learning to sew and cook. I am loving being a stay at home mom, but I am feeling a bit like Cinderella these days. All I do is clean up after the more privileged members of my family while wearing stained unflattering clothes (thanks to little Barfy McBarferton and my refusal to spend money on a wardrobe in my current size). The cooking is fine, I actually like to cook when I have ample time. But I do not have the housecleaning gene. I have to force myself to do it or it just won't get done.

In that vein, I spent this evening making a housecleaning schedule for myself. In an Excel spreadsheet cause I'm nerdy like that. Husband is amazed by how often I think we should vacuum the living room. I think every other day, he thinks every other week. It is Henry's primary play space and the dog's primary sleep/butt scoot space. Now Henry is no longer contained on a blanket (sigh) and it grosses me out to see him face down on a dirty carpet.

Of course Husband's immediate reaction was to lobby for a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Because that's the reason we both hate to vacuum. Our vacuum cleaner is just not expensive enough. And also I am not losing any weight right now because I need a new iPod and water bottle. Four gigs is just not enough music for the kind of serious work out I will do as soon as I have a cuter water bottle to sustain me.

Why I Chose a Natural Birth

2009-08-17T21:30:00.003-05:00

I have a feeling that when most people hear I had a drug-free childbirth they immediately wonder why. I used to feel the same way. Before I got pregnant I joked about wanting an epidural the entire ninth month so I would never have to worry about feeling a contraction. When it came time to actually have my baby I did quite a bit of research and changed my mind. Here are some of the reasons why:

I wanted to avoid the potential for cascading interventions, which basically means that if you have one medical intervention during labor you are more likely to need others. In the worst case scenario, this could mean a vacuum, forceps, or cesarean delivery that might have been avoided. Mybestbirth.com just posted a couple of videos where Melissa Joan Hart (much like Clarissa) explains it all via her two very different birth stories. Video 1 Video 2
I learned about the side effects (for both mom and baby) that are involved with many common childbirth practices like induction and epidurals and wanted to avoid them unless I had a specific medical need.
The idea of a needle in my spine freaks me right out. Especially the having to sit still for one in the middle of a contraction. Also, cold medicine and Midol make me so loopy. I was afraid of how my body would react to narcotics if I chose IV drugs instead of an epidural.
I liked the idea of being able to feel when and how to push. Google "fourth degree tear" if you don't believe it is a good thing to feel when you are pushing. I hardly pushed at all (much to the dismay of the delivery nurses) and Henry came out rather quickly. I shudder to think what would have happened to me if I had pushed to the count of 10 over and over again like they instructed.
If in doubt, natural always seems best to me. It the same reason I breastfeed. I chose to have my natural birth in a hospital where every miracle of modern science was available if I needed it. Emphasis on if and needed.
I wanted to see if I could. I am never going to run a marathon or climb a really tall mountain. Giving birth was my opportunity to have a sense of accomplishment that I could draw upon when I face future challenges in my life.

Of course, I know natural childbirth is not for everyone. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever after about 10 hours of labor. And I continued to feel that way for a week after Henry was born. In the end, I'm glad I did it and I will have another natural birth when Henry becomes a big brother someday. I think. We'll see. Yep, pretty sure.

Starting Solids Soon!

2009-08-14T21:43:00.010-05:00

Husband is on a plane back home right now and I used my free time tonight to make some more baby food for Henry. He hasn't started solids yet - at this point I will just wait until he turns six months next week - but I have been stockpiling food in my freezer in preparation. So far I have...

Fresh pears (super sweet!)
Baked pears (froze these in chunks for the mesh feeder)
Apricots (horribly sour, but Husband's favorite candy is Sweet Tarts so maybe it will work out)
Baked peaches (yummy!)
Applesauce (just bought a jar of organic, no sugar added applesauce instead of making my own)
Nectarines (also pretty sour)
Plums (the skin kind of dissolved into the fruit when I cooked them and they turned out very gritty)
Green beans (I forgot to taste these)

In addition I also have some sweet potatoes, butternut squash, acorn squash, and a bag of frozen peas to cook and puree this weekend. I haven't actually fed any of the food to Henry yet, but here is what I've learned so far about making homemade baby food.

Silicone mini-muffin pans are the best thing ever. I have a couple of th ese from Bed Bath & Beyond and love them. It is very easy to pop out the cubes of frozen puree by pushing up on the bottom of each compartment. They hold about an ounce each. I also have some old school blue plastic ice cube trays and they each hold a tablespoon, or about half an ounce. They are fine but the muffin pans are much easier. With both I just freeze the food overnight until it is solid and then put it in a freezer bag the next day so I can reuse the containers.
I read on Wholesome Baby Food that baking fruit is a good way to bring out the natural sweetness. I tried with some pears that just never really got ripe and they did turn out fairly sweet. One tip: you have to cover the fruit completely with water or the top gets brown and dry in the oven. In general I really like baking food if you are making large batches because it's easier to do a bunch of different things at once in various baking dishes.
It's really hard to puree green beans. I tried tonight and dirtied just about every piece of kitchen equipment that grinds, mashes, or strains before I tried my cheap old blender and it worked beautifully. I hope this will work for pea skins as well. I will report back when I try.
Much like cloth diapering, I wonder if making your own baby food really is that much cheaper than buying jarred food by the time you buy organic produce, storage containers, and all the necessary kitchen appliances. That's not why I am doing it, of course, just the reason I gave Husband to get him on board.

I checked out a book called Super Baby Food from the library to learn more about what to feed my baby when. It's not quite what I expected, but I'm glad I read it and will probably pick up a copy at Half Price to keep around the house as a reference. The writer seems really worried about things I don't have time to care about. It's frustrating because this 600 page book could easily be about 200 pages if she cut out the inane tips. I randomly opened to a page with nine different warnings, including

Blenders and food processors are loud. Buy a thick pad of rubbery plastic in a stationary shop for keeping office machines quiet, and place it under the blender to make it run more quietly. Or use an old computer mouse pad.

I would just turn the TV up louder when the blender is on. And what kind of office machines is she talking about? Obviously the library must have an older copy because the only "machines" at Husband's office are laptops and telephones.

This lady also does not feed her family meat because she is worried about salmonella and E. coli. She's a little cooky, and I won't be following her recommendations to the letter. But she's got some good advice on making sure your baby gets the proper nutrients, including a small chapter on each month that lists the new foods you can try. I also like her advice on combining foods like rice and beans to make sure your baby gets complete protein without meat. I would like to avoid giving Henry meat until he is old enough to chew it because pureed beef is just wrong.

Overall, I would recommend the Wholesome Baby Food website as a better day to day reference and this book as a good in-depth look at how to feed your baby well.

Birthdays with Baby

2009-08-13T19:06:00.008-05:00

Based on our very scientific sample size of two, it really sucks to turn 29. Or maybe your birthday is no fun the same year you have a baby. Definitely one (or both) of those is true based on Husband's and my experiences this year.

Husband turned 29 a couple of days ago. He had a cold and so we couldn't even go out for his 5:30 p.m., bring baby along, pick your favorite place where we can eat in 30 minutes birthday dinner. I did bring him some mac 'n cheese from Whole Foods, which is not nearly as good as it is at the downtown location, but is macaroni dripping with butter and cheese nonetheless. But I don't think he could really taste how awesome his cake was and we couldn't open the bottle of Prosecco we bought for the occasion. I told him it was really nice of him to get sick on his birthday instead of a week later so I only had to wait on him and be really nice to him once instead of twice.

One good thing that happened this week is that we laughed together about my birthday. If enough time has passed that we can laugh about it, I guess it is okay to blog about it. My 29th birthday was not only the worst birthday in my life, but quite possibly the worst day period. Important to note: I had given birth to Henry eight days earlier.

In the morning Husband was very sweet and got up early to make me breakfast. He made the waffles first, which is important for two reasons. First, one can assume that if he was able to make me waffles from scratch then we must already own at least one waffle iron. This will become relevant as you keep reading. Second, waffles get cold and soggy really quickly. I had to put them in the toaster oven to make them yummy, which kind of sunk Husband's romantic breakfast in bed plans.

After we ate breakfast I opened my present. There was a sweet card that Husband signed himself and then used his left hand to sign Henry's name so it looked like our very gifted week-old baby signed my card as well. Very cute.

I knew the present was from Williams-Sonoma because I recognized the wrapping. It had arrived in the mail several days earlier, so I had some time to process the fact that my Husband bought me a birthday present from a kitchen store. Normally this would be great, but I had just pushed his first born son out of me and, last I checked, Williams-Sonoma doesn't sell diamonds. Also, while I was getting the house ready in preparation for Henry's arrival I had resolved to stop collecting kitchen gadgets. I think I recall calling Husband at work to tell him we have nowhere to store sippy cups right before I had him load a couple of boxes of glassware and vases into my car for Goodwill. So he should have known this.

Anyway, I thought for sure I knew what was in the box. I thought it was a Beaba Babycook. This is a nifty little appliance that can both steam and puree fruits and veggies for your baby. A little frivolous as I already own a steamer basket and a food processor, but still a fun toy. At first I was mad that he spent $150 on a birthday present for me that wasn't even really for me, but I got used to the idea and appreciated that it symbolized this new phase of my life and was prepared to praise it and him effusively.

Only it wasn't a $150 babyfood maker. It was a $130 waffle iron. Gold star for those of you who were paying attention and just thought, "Doesn't she already have a waffle iron?" Yes, I do. It's three years old and it works fine. But it is a square Belgian waffle iron, and apparently I had made a comment a few weeks prior about it being easier to spread batter in a round one. I swear he doesn't hear half of what I say, but Husband filed that piece of information away and pulled it out for my birthday.

I acknowledge that I probably sound a little spoiled and hateful when I talk about the waffle iron incident, but keep in mind I had given birth eight days before. My hormones were crazy and I still couldn't sit in a chair for more than 10 minutes at a time.

I tried my best to hold it together, but he knew. Husband said he wouldn't be offended if I exchanged it for something else I really want. But what would I get from Williams-Sonoma? I looked at their website and I couldn't find a single thing that seemed like it would fit into my new life. At this point I was nursing Henry literally all day and night. Just going to the bathroom was a 10 minute, multi-step process. Although I was obviously wrong, it didn't seem like I would ever have time to cook again, much less make waffles from scratch.

And that's the thought that ran through my head as I sobbed in the shower for approximately 20 minutes. "I can't believe he got me a waffle maker... sob, sob... When am I ever going to make waffles again?... sob, sob... sob, sob, sob..." I assumed the running water drowned it out, but I just learned this week that Husband heard it all. I feel really bad for him helplessly listening to me sob in the shower on my birthday. I could have gone on for hours... but then I looked up and saw a wasp in the window above our shower. Of course I hurried out of the shower, slammed the bathroom door, and alerted Husband.

His response? To a sobbing wife and a baby sleeping in the next room? To spray toxic wasp spray inside our house. And that window above the shower does not open. It took weeks for the noxious fumes to dissipate. I had visions of prospective buyers looking at hour house years from now and wondering what that smell is. If Henry is dumb later I am totally blaming it on that.

At that point there was just no way to salvage the day. I told Husband to just take the waffle iron back. We also had a talk about creative presents. Prior to the waffle iron incident, Husband purposefully avoided buying me anything I said I wanted. His goal was to come up with some genius present I didn't even know I wanted. That's fine for a book or a CD, but not an expensive piece of kitchen equipment. The Williams-Sonoma catalog is like porn to me. There is nothing in there that I don't know I want. Besides, my birthday present should be about making me happy, not about making himself feel like an awesome husband.

Oh, I left out the best part. He ordered the waffle iron online while I was in labor. Because I don't know about you, but when I think of a woman moaning in pain on all fours, I think kitchen electonics.

Am I the Only One Who Thinks Babylegs are Stupid?

2009-08-11T10:53:00.003-05:00

In case you don't know these are Babylegs:

Imagine a pair of tights. Now cut off the upper crotch/waist part and the feet. Voila! Now you have Babylegs!

Maybe it's because I have a warm weather baby, but I just don't get it. Or maybe it's because Henry is a boy. I could kinda see it for little girls, but not for boys. Although they are clearly intended for both genders, as they have a boy section on their website.

If it's cold, can't he just wear pants? And if it's not cold enough for pants why would I want to cover up his adorable squishy thighs? His squishy thighs are my favorite part, maybe because he clearly gets them from me!

My sister-in-law thinks they are great. She says they are wonderful for quick diaper changes, but I practically have to strip Henry down to change a diaper to avoid poo and/or pee all over what he is wearing. It's like any article of clothing left too close to his business is a personal challenge for him.

I think Babylegs are a sign of the ever-blurring line between wants and needs for raising a baby. How ever did my mother do without baby leg warmers?

Nap Update: It took him over an hour to fall asleep, but Henry slept for an hour and 19 mintues this morning!

We Shoulda Bought the Extended Warranty Cause This Baby is Defective

2009-08-10T19:03:00.003-05:00

I wrote a post the other day about our long-overdue success with Henry's naps. I never got around to posting it because Husband called me away, and it's a good thing. It would have been foolishly premature to use "success" and "nap" in the same sentence. Except maybe, "Henry has successfully avoided another nap today."

After much struggle with the schedule, length, and location of Henry's naps I thought we finally had it together on Friday and Saturday. Both days he took three naps in his crib. They still only lasted 30 minutes, but I have come to accept the things I cannot change. Then yesterday and today it all fell spectacularly apart. For the first time in a long time I am back to loving him but not necessarily liking him that much. But I will persevere simply because I have no other option. We already resorted to crying it out two different times, and I have no idea what to do if that fails. Wish us luck!

Work Widow

2009-08-09T17:32:00.004-05:00

I will preface this by saying that I know I am lucky to have such a wonderful husband and there are many moms in significantly worse situations than mine. However...

I am tired of being a work widow. Husband typically works six days a week and several nights. He travels at least once a month for a few days. It wasn't always like this. I remember a time not too long ago when I would call his desk phone and have at least a 50/50 chance of him answering. Now I mostly send him text messages because I know he's not at his desk and I don't want to bother him in whatever meeting he's sitting through.

I know he doesn't want to work this much, and it's especially hard for him to miss this time with Henry. It does make me feel better that it is (pretty much) a requirement at his company and not just a preference of his. I know that his job is the reason that we can afford for me to stay at home with Henry without drastic changes in our lifestyle, and for that I am grateful.

However, it is just so exhausting. I haven't been anywhere without Henry in a couple of weeks, so I feel like I am always on duty. For example, this weekend we took a family trip to World Market to buy some wine. I was holding Henry while collapsing the stroller and then realized that was stupid, so I handed him to Husband. After I put the stroller in the car I look up and he's just standing there holding Henry, staring off into space. It just didn't occur to him to put Henry in the car seat or start the car so it could cool off or any other remotely helpful thing. Nope, just standing there staring at a tree branch.

That is a luxury I don't have. My thought process is... Make sure the Very Hungry Caterpillar dangly toy is out of the way so the stroller will lock, put it in the back, start the car and blast the A/C, put Henry in the car seat, make sure the shoulder pads are in place so I don't scrape his neck with the harness like last time, give him Lovey Bear so he doesn't completely lose his shit on the five minute drive home, get in the car, calculate how many minutes until Henry's next feeding, hope I feed him in time so he doesn't fall asleep eating and mess up his next nap... And there's Husband, staring at the effing tree blowing in the wind. This is why your mother is bitter toward your dad, in case you hadn't realized.

I know it is a luxury for me to stay home with Henry, but I honestly don't know how we'd make it otherwise. When I think of my mom staying home with us, it seems very different. My dad went to work at 8 and was home by 6. He did travel some and occasionally have to work on a Saturday afternoon, but nothing like Husband's schedule. My dad didn't have an iPhone with constantly streaming work email, so he was able to actually leave work at work and be present. I'm sure my mom would not remember it quite as fondly, but it sounds pretty nice to me.

Henry Permitting

2009-08-06T21:52:00.002-05:00

You know the term weather permitting? As in, the company picnic is tomorrow afternoon, weather permitting. Well I have come up with a new term: Henry permitting. For example, Husband thinks it would be great fun for us to have a family outing to a baseball game Sunday night. I told him we can go but not to expect to stay too long. You know... Henry permitting.

Breastfeeding Essentials

2009-08-05T19:32:00.011-05:00

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week I have come up with a list of my favorite breastfeeding essentials. You don't technically need anything but a baby and a boob to successfully breastfeed, but there are some things that made it a whole lot easier for me and therefore made me more likely to stick with it through the challenging early weeks.

My Brest Friend Nursing Pill ow
Despite the ridiculous name, this pillow is pure genius. I could never make the Boppy work, but the fact that this pillow straps around your waist makes it so much easier to position a wriggly baby. Buy one and take it with you to the hospital. I know you think the Boppy will be fine because that's what all your friends used, but you are wrong. Buy one and take it with you to the hospital!

Lanolin
This is an ointment you put on sore nipples that doesn't have to be washed off before baby nurses. I liked the thicker Lansinoh brand in the early days, especially right before a shower. I have heard the Medela version is better if you have super sore nipples because it is thinner and goes on more easily. I currently use the Medela just before I pump to make the process more effective and comfortable.

Nursing Pads
These are disposable doily-like objects that line your bra to keep milk from leaking through your shirt. I never really had a leaking problem, but they are great to keep the lanolin from ruining your bras and clothes. I only ever used one brand and still have half a box left, so I'm not really able to give an educated recommendation on these.

Lansinoh Double Electric Breast Pump
This is an awesome pump at a great price. I bought it on a whim when I realized my manual hand pump wasn't going to cut it. It was on sale at Target and it had good reviews, but I wasn't really sure. Now that I've had it awhile, I'm so glad I didn't settle for the Medela pump that costs twice as much. I need to write a full review at some point to explain why it is such a good value. MFF says it's better than the hospital-grade pump she rented at first. It's just the basics - no cute tote bag or freezer packs. You can either use the diaper bag they give you for free at the hospital or, if you are going back to work and plan to do some serious pumping, check out the related line of Ameda Purely Your s pumps.

Medela Soft Shells for Sore Nipples
When Henry was a couple of weeks old my nipples could take no more. Just the friction of my bra touching them hurt so much I wanted to cry. I did some research online and found these. I emailed Husband a link and he stopped at Babies R Us on the way home from work to pick them up. So that's what happens to romance when you have a baby, in case you were wondering. Anyway, they protect your nipples while also stomping out any remaining vanity you had left. They gave me a chance to heal, and within a few days I was in much better shape. I only used them for about a week, but I really think I might have stopped breastfeeding without them.

Good Nursing Bras
Don't cheap out here, ladies. I recommend getting a couple of Medela Comfort Maternity Nursing Bra (pictured) for the early weeks and then to sleep in later on. I also like the basic nursing tanks from Target for that purpose, and see no reason to pay three times as much for the Bravado version. Then, when you are tired of having a uniboob and would like the girls to stand at attention again, I highly recommend finding a really good bra fitter. Not a 19 year-old at Victoria's Secret! In Austin, I love Petticoat Fair. I just don't think it's possible to correctly guess your bra size and order one online. You should go back to get refitted as needed. I bought a couple of bras when Henry was about 6 weeks old, and when he was 5 months I saw a picture of myself and realized I could tuck my boobs into the waistband of my pants. I went back and I was two cup sizes smaller.

A Lactation Consultant
I took a breastfeeding class when I was pregnant. It was moderately helpful, but the best thing about it was that I met a lactation consultant I could call if I felt the need. Luckily I didn't, but I felt so much better having that safety net in place.

I was blessed with a healthy, full term, champion eater. These are just the basics I found helpful in a pretty perfect situation. There are many, many more products out there to help with any number of feeding issues you might encounter. I know it's not for everyone, but if you have the desire to breastfeed it is definitely worth finding a supportive lactation consultant and pediatrician. Happy lactating!

I Have to Wear a Swimsuit

2009-08-04T14:36:00.004-05:00

Next week we are going to my in-laws. They have a pool and Henry is almost six months old so it seems like the perfect opportunity to let him have his first swimming experience. I am excited for him to wear his little swim trunks and a ridiculous hat. He might love it or hate it, but either way it will be adorable.

Although I have seen footage of babies swimming underwater on PBS, I don't think I can just throw Henry in the pool and hope for the best. I am going to have to get in there with him. Husband and I have been together for five years and I have so far avoided being in my bathing suit in front of my father-in-law. He's perfectly nice and not at all creepy, but it just seems unnecessary. He once saw me in a bath towel and it was soooooo awkward. But this time I can't avoid it. Besides, I don't want to be one of those fat moms whose kid never gets to do anything fun because she doesn't like to wear shorts or whatever. So I think I will have to bite the bullet and figure out some suitable swimwear by next week.

Naturally, my first thought was, "Burkini!" You know, the swimsuits that Muslim women wear. This lady seems really happy in hers. I imagine her inner monologue is something like, "Ha, ha, world. You can't see my thiiiiiiiiggghhhhhs!"

Or this. It's a little more risque, but still thigh concealing. I think maybe it's for Mormons? Or those Duggar girls?

Since they don't carry these at Just Add Water!, and I don't have enough time to allow for shipping, I will have to make do with what I already own. I have three bikinis I bought last year on the day I found out I was pregnant. We were about to go to Hawaii, and I had visions of wearing them later with a cute little bump, like a celebrity in Malibu. (In fact, I got my first positive pregnancy test in a the bathroom at JC Penney's when I was at the mall shopping. Very "Sixteen and Pregnant.") That was before my belly broke out in stretch marks that resemble a New York subway map. So those are out.

Unfortunately I must have given away my fat suit that used to be too baggy in the midsection. Balls. I do have a couple of old one pieces, as well as a quick-drying pair of shorts I last wore to Schlitterbahn because they have a zipper pocket for my turkey leg cash. Or I could skip the shorts and just walk backwards into the pool so no one can see my ass. I seem to have a mental block about trying either of them on. One of them is bound to fit, right? Urgh. Hopefully everyone will be distracted by the cute baby.

Nice Little Saturday

2009-08-01T18:13:00.003-05:00

This morning we slept in... until 7:15. Oh, how our life has changed. Then we spent a furious couple of hours getting Henry dressed, fed, and napped, and me exercised, fed, and showered. It is so exhausting just to get out of the house by 9:30 or 10:00. I salute working moms who are somehow able to actually leave the house on time most mornings.

Our first stop was a little farmer's market in Leander. Emphasis on little - we bought some grass fed beef and a couple of homemade notebooks a little kid created by folding paper in half and drawing on the front. Unfortunately there wasn't any produce because of the drought, but it was still fun. We found a good source for (hopefully) yummy natural beef. We'll find out when Husband grills some burgers in a bit. The market is held at a preschool that I kind of adore. They have a garden the kids help tend and a small collection of farm animals. How cute is that? Here is a link to their blog.

Then we headed to Lakeshore to get a birthday present for our niece, whose first birthday party is next weekend. I love the toys at Lakeshore. It is primarily a teacher supply store, but they have great developmentally appropriate toys for little kids. We got a couple of puzzles for our niece and a neat rainstick for Henry. He is mesmerized by it.

Babywearing Reviews

2009-07-30T18:27:00.009-05:00

Yesterday I was leaving story time at Barnes & Noble and a lady in a minivan stopped to ask me how I like my Ergo carrier that Henry was riding in. She said she had a Baby Bjorn with her first baby and hated it, and was now in the market for a better carrier with #2 on the way.

I had a lot of confusion about baby carriers when I was pregnant, and I ended up with three different ones. I thought I would wear my baby all the time, but he's a big 'un and we've had over 40 days of 100 degree weather in Austin this summer. For me, it's just too hot to wear him all day. However, it's also too hot to load and unload a baby stroller every time we go somewhere. Even if you are not an attachment parenting type of mom, I highly recommend getting one. Here's my $.02...

Ergo Baby Carrier
This is my favorite. I keep it in the car to use for errands now that Henry is too big to lug around in his infant car seat but not yet able to sit up in the grocery cart. Mother-in-law bought mine for $105 at Baby Earth.

Pros

Very comfrotable, thanks to a waist belt that puts the weight on your hips instead of your shoulders.
Can be worn on the front, back, or hip.
One size (within limits), so both Husband and I can use it.
Very easy to get baby in and out.
Henry is more comfy because he sits in it rather than hanging by his crotch.
High quality construction seems like it will last for years.
There's a little zipper pocket on the front for keys or a pacifier, as well as a hood you can pull up over a sleeping baby.

Cons

Baby can only face toward the adult, not out toward the world.
Takes some adjusting of several straps and buckles to get the fit just right, which is annoying if different adults frequently take turns wearing the baby.
Babies under four months require an additional infant insert (or folded up receiving blanket if you are cheap like me) to fit well in the carrier. It is really designed for babies who are old enough to wrap their legs around the adult's waist.

Moby Wrap
This is a ridiculously long piece of knit fabric that you can tie around yourself in a variety of ways to make a pouch for baby. It was my favorite when Henry was a newborn, and if I could only buy one baby carrier this would be it. I bought the organic version for $35 on clearance, but you can get the regular one for about $40. Many others make wrap-style carriers as well, ranging in price from over $100 down to homemade versions that sell online for around $15.

Pros

You can wrap it 10 different ways, including front, back, hip, and a twin hold.
Baby can face you or the world.
Weight is fairly well distributed by fanning the fabric across your shoulders and tying it around your waist, so it's comfy to wear.
Truly one size, so anyone can wear it comfortably.
Folds up well to stash in the diaper bag.

Cons

It's a pain to put on. The wrapping isn't that hard once you do it a couple of times, but it takes me about 30 seconds that can seem like an eternity when you have a wailing baby. The fabric tends to hang on the ground as you wrap. Fine at home, but not so good in the parking lot at Target.
If you wrap it too tight the baby is uncomfortable and fussy, too loose and it feels like he is going to fall out.
Mine seems to stretch out as I wear Henry and it becomes too loose. It's even worse when I take him in and out, which is annoying when we are running errands with multiple stops. I wonder if it is because it's organic?

Hotsling
This is a useless piece of crap. It is basically a tube of woven fabric that you put over one shoulder and the baby hangs in the other end. There is a similar sling called a Peanut Shell that MFF has and she hates hers too.

It is not comfortable enough for me or Henry to use everyday. I think a Hotsling would be great for a trendy mom who has heard babywearing is all the rage and would like to participate when her Bugaboo has a flat. If that sounds like you, you can pick one up for $39.

Pros

Very quick to put on. I bought it because I thought it would be great for errands when I have to take Henry in and out of it a bunch.
A few different holds, including facing out or hip.
Folds super tiny so it's easy to store in the diaper bag.

Cons

Uncomfortable for mom because it sits on one shoulder. Or, in the case of our walk yesterday morning, it slowly slips up your shoulder until the entire weight of your child is pressing on your carotid artery.
Uncomfortable for baby. When he was little there was so much fabric I was worried he would suffocate. Now it is too tight and he is only five months old.
Often feels like baby is going to fall out. At first glance this picture looks like mom and daughter are just dancing through life without a care. In reality the kid is slowly squirming out so the mom has gradually started leaning over to maintain their center of gravity. Try doing that while carrying a week's worth of mail and a dog leash.
Since there is no way to adjust the sling it comes in different sizes. That means you can't share it with your spouse unless he is small or you are big.

These are the three I bought or received as gifts. I know a lot of moms love their ring sling, which is like the Hotsling but adjustable. I wouldn't really recommend the standard Baby Bjorn-type carriers they have at Babies R Us. They just hang off the shoulders and most people I know don't like them very much, especially if you have a fatty like Henry.

For more info on baby carriers, check out TheBabyWearer.com. They have a guide for selecting the right baby carrier and a photo gallery that helped me learn the lingo when I was trying to grasp all the carrier options.

p.s. I have a recently laundered size 4 chocolate brown Hotsling for sale. $15 including instructions and DVD. Any takers? Maybe a baby gift for someone you don't like?

I'm Now One of Those People Who Puts Their Baby on the Phone

2009-07-30T11:28:00.004-05:00

Husband is in a meeting in Nebraska right now. Henry and I are playing on the floor and he is talking up a storm. I thought it would be fun to call Husband and leave him a voice mail of Henry squealing and cooing.

BEEP
Hi, it's me. Henry would like to say hi.
(Silence)
Cough.
(Weird panting Henry does when he's happy)
(I tickle Henry)
(Silence)
Well, I thought that would be cute but instead I just left you a message with random heavy breathing. Sorry to bother you.

Baby Book Guilt

2009-07-29T17:58:00.003-05:00

Husband is in Nebraska for work for a few days. He has recently traveled to San Francisco and Toronto and I cursed him for leaving me alone with the baby. Either I have gotten significantly better at taking care of a baby on my own or it turns out I was really just mad that Husband got to go somewhere cool without me. I am not that bothered with him being in middle-of-nowhere Nebraska. I still miss him and I will be glad when he is back, but I am not irritated like I usually am. Truth be told, it's been kind of nice to have some time to myself in the evenings.

Last night I used that time to finally get started on Henry's baby book. I got a picture printed to put in the little slot on the front. I still have not written a single word in the book. No list of gifts received (although I have them written down on several scraps of paper elsewhere). No family tree, not even his name. I didn't get hand prints or foot prints and it seems kind of silly to do that now. Maybe I can do a Google image search and print a set, scaled down to look tiny.

I feel super guilty about this. I mean, he's my first baby. I don't work outside the home now (and didn't for the last half of my pregnancy) so lack of time is no excuse. I felt so crappy when I was a kid and found a mostly empty baby book, but my mom told me that's just how it is when you're the second baby. What am I going to tell Henry? I have resolved to fill it up, even though I am fabricating a good portion of it. The worst part is that I don't remember some of his milestones. I am going to have to look at the date stamp on some pictures and come up with a rough estimate of when he first smiled and laughed. I don't even remember when he slept through the night for the first time. And that was the best day of my life so far.

Travel with baby?

2009-07-27T21:39:00.002-05:00

Husband and I have been talking about the possibility of doing some traveling with the wee one. Somehow I just agreed to drive to my in-laws three hours away by myself with Henry. Husband will be flying back from Seattle the next day, so he will just fly into DFW instead. If we leave at Henry's bedtime we would get there around my bedtime. It should go very smoothly as long as Henry stays asleep and I don't have to stop to go to the bathroom. Of course, this same stretch of driving took us over five hours on our way back from Arkansas in May. Without trying I have recently adopted a new mommy mantra: "Eh, how bad could it be?" I figure this trip will fall somewhere between childbirth and dental work.

We are also kicking around the idea of doing some air travel in the near future. I have had such a positive response from strangers in the grocery store over the past year of pregnancy and carrying around a cute little baby. It will be a shock to be "that woman" who has the audacity to bring a baby on a plane. I already feel bad for the people who will be on the plane with us and we don't even know where, if anywhere, we are going.

With family travel on the brain, I spent some time tonight searching for a really neat website I found a few weeks back. It had lots of tips for traveling with kids and reviews of travel-related products. I didn't bookmark it because, at the time, I thought Henry would be at least a year old before we would leave our zip code again. Oh well. Instead, I did find a neat idea called Babies Travel Lite. It is a service that delivers baby supplies to your destination so you don't have to lug an extra suitcase full of diapers, wipes, and formula. They can even have a pack and play or stroller waiting for you at your hotel. I would have thought is was ridiculously indulgent a year ago, but now that it costs $25 to check a bag it's probably not such a bad deal.

Seven Reasons I'm Glad I Breastfeed

2009-07-26T20:23:00.004-05:00

One thing that surprises me about motherhood is that it has made me less judgmental. I had a drug-free delivery, but I certainly wouldn't fault someone who chose the epidural. Same thing with cloth diapers, letting Henry cry it out, and being a stay at home mom. These things have all been the right decisions for my family, but I completely understand someone making the opposite choices, and I don't think that necessarily makes one of us the better mother.

However, one thing I can't understand is why someone wouldn't at least be interested in breastfeeding (of course barring a health issue or something similar). One mom I know said she just didn't have any family members who breastfed, so it wasn't something she was exposed to. I was lucky that my mom gave me some breastfeeding encouragement when I was pregnant, and I have thought of a few more good reasons to add to her list.

It's easy. No washing bottles or mixing formula. It's already the perfect temperature. When Henry suddenly decides he's starving all I have to do is lay him in my lap. It gets easier at about six weeks and then really easy at about three months.
It's cheap. It's nice not to have the added expense of formula as we are adjusting to being a single income family.
Henry looks so cute when he nurses. I love the way his eyes flutter and I don't even mind getting whacked in the face.
I feel very connected to Henry. So far in his life I figure I've fed Henry well over 1,000 times, each of those an opportunity to put everything else aside and focus solely on him. It's nice that no one can do that for him but me.
It's good for him. Even if I knew I wasn't going to breastfeed for long, I think I would still try for the first week or two to give a dose of antibodies to start a baby off healthy. I don't think formula is poison. It's so much better than it was back when we were babies and we all turned out fine. Still, breastmilk is the perfect food for babies. It's got exactly what they need and nothing they don't in a nice, easily digestible package. Sometimes at the end of a hard day I feel like, if nothing else, at least I've done this one thing right for him.
It's good for me. Women who breastfeed have a lower risk of breast cancer. It's also helping me slowly but surely lose the baby weight while motivating me to maintain a healthy diet.
It makes for nicer poo. Baby poop doesn't become too offensive until you introduce formula or solids.

Sorry to get all lactivist on you, but breastfeeding is probably the parenting decision I am the most confident about, so I am always happy to sing its praises.

Clearance and New Baby Stuff at Target!

2009-07-26T11:09:00.003-05:00

I just took Henry to Target to pick up a couple of things and I saw a bunch of fun new stuff in the baby section, including a really cute new Britax Marathon car seat, a Graco high chair pattern called Lowery that I would actually want in my house, and some Dwell Studio stuff.

Of course, when they put out new stuff that means the old stuff goes on clearance. They have last years Britax Marathon for $237 (30% off), which is a really good deal because Britax rarely has sales. There are also a bunch of clothes and layette things on sale as well. It's a mix of summer clothes and warmer items like pants and footed sleepers.

Happy shopping!

Body After Baby

2009-07-24T21:04:00.003-05:00

Today during Henry's independent play time (a.k.a. rolling around on the floor and chewing on a burp cloth until he gets bored and screams) I rummaged through my closet hoping to find something to wear for my date with Husband tomorrow night. I have packed away almost all of my maternity clothes because the kid is 5 months old now and it's just depressing to still be wearing them. However, I'm not quite in my old wardrobe because I have about 15 pounds to lose of the 49 I gained with Henry. That's just what happens when you stop working half way through and eat ice cream for breakfast.

I am currently about one size larger than my pre-pregnancy clothes. This gives me hope that I will still fit into them once I lose the rest of the weight, which is gradually coming off. I know a lot of women never fit into their old clothes again because their hips spread, but I already had pretty big hips, so I think I will actually be able to regain my pre-baby figure. I am even getting my waist back, although it has mysteriously migrated several inches up from it's previous location. I will never ever look the same naked, but an old friend used to tell me that you only have to look good with your clothes on. Once you take them off men are too distracted by the naked woman in the room to care much about your imperfections.

Anyway, back to trying on clothes. I am proud to say that I fit into a real skirt that I shoved in the back of the closet last summer. By "real skirt," I mean with a zipper and without any sort of spandex or elastic involved. It looks a little Urkel-ish with my new waist, but it fits. However, we are going to the Melting Pot tomorrow night, so I think some kind of elastic might be in order. I settled on a stretchy dress that fits me well but that I never wear because I can't breastfeed in a dress without pulling the whole thing up to my shoulders. Since my parents are watching Henry I thankfully don't have to worry about that.

It's really the only dress I have that fits, and I wish I had more clothing options. I have one pair of jeans I wear and last night I took them off without unbuttoning them. However, I am irritated at the prospect of buying more clothes I hope don't fit for long, and I am further restricted by my refusal to spend more than $20 on an article of transitional clothing.

At this point I really don't care what my body looks like, I just want to know what size I am going to be. Now I understand why every woman of a certain age has her closet divided into three sections: clothes that fit now, clothes for in case I get fat again, and clothes I am holding on to in the hopes that I will develop a non-life-threatening medical condition that causes drastic weight loss.

p.s. I think I just referred to myself as a "woman of a certain age." *sigh*

Favorite Baby Buy: Baggallini Hampton Bag

2009-07-23T21:20:00.006-05:00

My diaper bag search has come to an end! I am the proud owner of a Baggallini Hampton Bag in espresso brown with a tomato red interior. It's a great all-around tote, so read on even if you are not in the market for a new diaper bag. I am at least as in love with it as I was with Husband when I married him, so I have high hopes that this is my forever bag. I purchased it at Container Store for $69, but it's available for less on eBags in nine different colors.

Why I love it...

Size. It's huge! The unstructured form makes it easy to cram extras in for a longer trip. It even fits several cloth diapers so I don't have to buy disposables for the diaper bag anymore. It is large enough that I could easily see using it with two kids, although there is a smaller Baby Hampton Bag for those without my obsessive need to overpack.
Organization. It is divided into three large compartments: a middle section that zips and two outer sections with magnetic snaps. Within each compartment there are zip pockets, a mesh bottle holder, and several little sections that are good for tubes of diaper cream or hand sanitizer. Instead of a black hole I have a functional, pretty red interior that's easy to organize.
Room for my stuff. Since my diaper bag is also my purse when Henry is with me, it's great to have an additional outside pocket with room for the female Holy Trinity - keys, cell phone, and sunglasses. It also comes with a key ring that snaps into one of the side compartments and a little removable zippered pouch with room for cash and credit cards. With a place for everything, it's easy to grab my stuff and transfer it to a regular purse when I am sans baby.
Material. It is made of a lightweight but sturdy nylon, so it's easy to clean and won't tip the stroller if I hang in on the handle. (This totally happened to me in the middle of Target one day with my old diaper bag. Henry would have gone flying if he wasn't strapped in.) Even though it is not an expensive fabric, the construction feels very high quality. I am so pleased that I hope to add different Baggallini bags to my arsenal as well.
Straps. They are comfy and don't slip down my arm at all. Also, they are attached to the bag with hooks so you can easily reconfigure them. They can be looped around the stroller or even linked together to make it into a messenger bag for a dash through the airport.
Price. It's less than the full price of my other two diaper bags, probably because it is not designed specifically to be a diaper bag. I know I sound like my father-in-law, but I swear anything made for babies or weddings automatically costs twice what it should.

How it could be better...

Accessories. Since it wasn't created to be a diaper bag it doesn't come with a coordinated changing pad, wipes case, or insulated bottle bag. These can be easily purchased at Babies R Us for not much money but they wouldn't be cute and matchy. It's hard to blame Baggallini for this, though, because it was designed to be a travel tote rather than a diaper bag.

Obviously the pros outweigh the cons, so I would put this bag in the "Highly Recommend" category.

Why Didn't They Tell Me?

2009-07-22T19:01:00.001-05:00

When I first had Henry, I remember being really pissed off at all the moms I know. Why didn't they tell me? Not the labor and birth part - plenty of people tell you how horrible that is. I mean the part right after. Sometimes it's a sin of omission, like the fact that you will sit on a pillow for two weeks because it feels like someone shoved a lit stick of dynamite in your girl parts. Or the outright lies, like breastfeeding shouldn't hurt if you are doing it right. I was doing it right - I took a class, all the professionals said it looked great, Henry was a champion latcher. But it's a new experience having your nipples sucked on 8-12 times per day for up to an hour at a time (at least it was for me). There was a natural adjustment period when it felt like a Weed Whacker got a hold of my left boob.

So in those wee small hours of the night, while Henry ate and Husband snored, I began to wonder why I felt so unprepared and alone. I had talked to friends, family, doctors, and midwives. I had read literally dozens of books on childbirth and baby care. But nobody told me it was going to be like this. I vowed to warn others, and also came up with a few theories about why nobody really tells motherhood like it is.

First and foremost, I blamed my own mom. (Sorry, I know you read this!) She told me that she had forgotten all the bad stuff, but I couldn't imagine ever forgetting such a crap time in my life (and also miraculous and joyous, blah blah blah). I figured she and my mother-in-law were conspiring to keep me in the dark so I would produce at least one grandbaby for them.

Then, when Henry was about a couple of weeks old, a funny thing happened. I realized that I could not remember what labor felt like. I know it was not good (20 hours, no drugs!). But I honestly have no recollection of what it felt like. Maybe you really do forget. It makes sense from an biological perspective - if moms didn't forget we would all have one baby, and the population would dwindle. I like to call this theory the Evolutionary Advantage of Momnesia.

Still more time passed, and mommyhood got pretty rough. Husband was back at work, so I was all alone with Henry when he woke up in the night. The idea was that Husband had to be able to function at work, but I could nap when Henry did during the day. Then Henry stopped napping and started crying. I was functioning on about five hours of sleep a night, broken up into two or three chunks, and no naps during the day. Sometimes I would cry while Henry cried in my arms, and other times I would let Henry watch TV while I ate chocolate chips from the bag. We never left the house because I didn't know when Henry would start screaming.

I felt like a bad mom if I admitted how hard it was to friends and acquaintances. "Don't you just love being a mom?" and, "You are so blessed to be able to stay at home with him," would be met with an enthusiastic, "YES! It's great!" And I wondered if they could tell I was lying. It was really hard to feel like I was failing at the most important job I will ever have, made even more so when I felt like I was the only one. I thought there was something wrong with me until my MFF (Mommy Friend Forever, who has a son just a few days older than Henry) and I started confiding in each other. I realized that I wasn't the only one having a hard time, and surely not the only one lying about it. This tendency to keep up appearances is probably the biggest reason new moms feel so overwhelmed. It's hard to feel adequate when everyone else seems like Super Mom, but it's not socially acceptable to admit that your bundle of joy is a bit of a nightmare.

I am so glad to have MFF, and I highly recommend you find your own when it's your time. It doesn't even have to be a close friend (although I have known mine for several years now). It could be a random stranger who looks about as huge as you at the OB's office. The key is to have someone with a baby the same age. I know MFF isn't going to judge me when I bang Henry's head against the door frame on accident because she probably did the same thing last week.

(For what it's worth, Henry is now five months old, and I can honestly say that I do love being a mom and I am blessed to be able to stay home with him. As hard as those first four months were, I am glad we didn't follow through with our plans to sell him on eBay. Also, that dent in his head is almost gone.)

Five Months Old!

2009-07-21T22:15:00.004-05:00

Henry turned five months old on Sunday. I haven't gotten around to reading that chapter in the book yet, but if I had to guess I would say the five month milestones include frequent night wakings and increased use of sad lower lip (see photo above). It has been a rough couple of days and I hope it's just a blip and not a sign of things to come. If he keeps on like this my constant threat to drop him off at the fire station may stop being a joke.

Last night Henry showed his first display of defiance. I was offering him his stuffed bunny to chew on at bedtime (don't judge, it's between him and Bun Bun). Apparently he has figured out that I give him the bunny right before I leave the room, because he clamped his mouth shut and gave me the maddest look. I am afraid he is his mother's son. On a happier note, he reached out for me for the first time today. He stayed with my dad while my mom and I went to lunch, and when we got home he smiled and put his arms out for me to take him. So sweet. And that's why he's not going anywhere.

Mommy Guilt: Dog Edition

2009-07-20T18:19:00.002-05:00

Does anyone want a dog? He's really old, so it's low commitment. He responds to loud claps and not much else. He pretty much sleeps all day except for occasional urgent barking to go outside (which, if not met with an equally urgent opening of the back door, will lead to poop and/or vomit in the hallway). He occasionally stares at you until you scratch him, and then your hand smells like old dog the rest of the day. Also, he sometimes demands that you get out of bed in the middle of the night to tuck him in. Anyone?

I feel bad, but I just don't have the energy to devote to him. We always used to joke that we may not be great puppy parents, but at least our house is better than the shelter where we got him. Now I'm not so sure. I keep telling him it will get better when Henry is old enough to drop food on the floor.

You know that idyllic image of a new father picking up his wife and baby from the circle driveway in front of the maternity ward? Well, there should be another door just before that where you can drop off your dog. We can't be the only ones. I'm sure this sounds horrible to all our animal loving friends. We donate to the ASPCA every month. We aren't bad people. Unless you are our dog.

Diaper Bag Dilemma

2009-07-18T21:38:00.000-05:00

I think I have a diaper bag addiction. I have purchased two so far and I am looking for my third. Maybe it's an old habit from my days of hoarding teacher tote bags, or possibly a substitute for my coat and jacket fetish now that it is so darn hot outside. Or maybe I just haven't found Mr. Right Bag yet.

My first was a black messenger bag I bought when I was still pregnant. I chose it because I thought Husband wouldn't mind carrying it, but now that he's seen me give birth I really don't care what he thinks. The flap makes it too hard to quickly grab a burp cloth when I need it. Plus, it's impossible to wear a messenger bag and Henry in my Ergo carrier at the same time.

Then I bought a cute black tote online from Pottery Barn Kids. It's worth the $29 it cost on clearance and not much more. I love the open top of a tote bag, but the straps are patent leather and constantly slip down my arm. It doesn't have any pockets inside so it's just a big black hole of baby crap. Also, it's not quite big enough. I tend to be an overpacker - I once checked a suitcase that weighed 84 pounds. I don't really feel compelled to cram all my stuff in a small bag. It's just going to sit in the huge basket in the bottom of a giant stroller in the back of my SUV anyway. I don't live a hip urban lifestyle so I don't have a need for a compact little bag.

I have looked and looked at diaper bags online but I am afraid to buy one sight unseen after the PB Kids debacle. And I have that (commonly female) problem of having no concept of measurement. Is a diaper bag that's 14" wide too small or ridiculously large? Also, I have determined that diaper bags cost a lot primarily because they are for babies. They are not necessarily any better than any other bag. So I have decided to go to Container Store tomorrow and check out their selection of regular tote bags. Wish me luck!

Mommy is Going Slowly Insane

2009-07-14T22:21:00.002-05:00

I'm supposed to talk to Henry throughout the day, narrating what I am doing to build his vocabulary. The problem is, he doesn't really talk back...

Mommy is emptying the dishwasher. Mommy is putting the cups in the cabinet. Mommy is putting the spoons in the drawer. Now Mommy is putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher so they can get clean.

Mommy is folding laundry. This is Mommy's pink shirt. Mommy is hanging it on a white hanger. This is Daddy's underwear. These are Daddy's socks. These are Mommy's socks. They are smaller than Daddy's socks. But Baby's socks are the smallest of all.

Mommy is going slowly insane. Mommy needs to have an actual conversation soon. Let's call Daddy. This is the phone. I am dialing the numbers now. Soon it will ring and Daddy will say hello. Come on, Daddy, answer the phone...

Ta Da!

2009-07-14T19:37:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging again! I've decided to ditch Maridull Bliss because it's so not about us anymore. I spent awhile trying each of these (rejected/unavailable) blog titles in Blogger.

Baby Bliss
Mother/Mom/Mommy of the Year (in an ironic sense)
Baby Makes Three
Baby Makes Pee
Thank God He's Asleep
You Did This to Me
What Have We Done
While Baby Sleeps (would be a very short blog)
Damn He's Awake
I Love Motherhood (maybe if I say it enough it will be true)
I Traded My Boobs For This
When Are You Coming Home?

And then I realized that I am no longer a teacher and don't have to worry about calling myself Wife to hide from those internet savvy nine year-olds, so I decided to just be Hannah, mom of Henry. Thanks for reading!

Then Came Henry

24 Weeks & 27 Weeks

Potty Training: Not Yet

Girl Baby's Bird Nursery

20 Weeks

All Done Pim Yessons

16 Weeks

News!

31, etc.

My big boy is 2!

Really? Really.

It's Hard to be Little

2011 in 2011 Update

Snow Day!

Arctic Blast 2011

Henry was cute in January

What do you say to someone who's having a miscarriage?

Haterade

2011 in 2011

Just Eat Food

Blerg!

Diary of a Slacker, Day Whatever

Diary of a Vegan, Day 3

Diary of a Vegan, Day 1

Clean Out Day

I can't believe I am typing this

If you're happy and you know it

Which Mom are You?

Weaning Update

Dear Henry

I Just Spent $16 at the Target Dollar Spot

Friday Fun Five

Buy This, Not That: Sleep Edition

Here Comes the Sun

Reduce Reuse Recycle

Friday Fun Five

I wish I knew how to sew

Friday Fun Five

This is How Moms Let Themselves Go

Staycation All I Ever Wanted

Holy Housecleaning Batman

Friday Fun Five

In Soviet Russia Baby Trains You

Oh, Henry

I'm Really More of an Ideas Person...

How many teeth does a baby get?

Friday Fun Five

Book Recommendation: King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking

Suddenly it was a little too quiet...

Six Months Old!

I Should Have Taken Home Ec in High School

Why I Chose a Natural Birth

Starting Solids Soon!

Birthdays with Baby

Am I the Only One Who Thinks Babylegs are Stupid?

We Shoulda Bought the Extended Warranty Cause This Baby is Defective

Work Widow

Henry Permitting

Breastfeeding Essentials

I Have to Wear a Swimsuit

Nice Little Saturday

More Travel Links

Babywearing Reviews

I'm Now One of Those People Who Puts Their Baby on the Phone

Baby Book Guilt

Travel with baby?

Seven Reasons I'm Glad I Breastfeed

Clearance and New Baby Stuff at Target!

Body After Baby

Favorite Baby Buy: Baggallini Hampton Bag

Why Didn't They Tell Me?

Five Months Old!

Mommy Guilt: Dog Edition

Diaper Bag Dilemma

Mommy is Going Slowly Insane

Ta Da!